Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Pamper Yourself

Yesterday I decided to spend my birthday money and treat myself to a massage and a facial to ease my anxiety and tension about the holidays.  Looking on the internet, I found several spas in my area.  I was disappointed that the spa I usually patronize was closed on Monday.  I found one not too far away and called.  The woman told me that they would be open Wednesday when her remodel was finished. I declined, wanting a more immediate remedy for my tight shoulders.  The phone rang while I was still cruising the internet.  It was the woman from the remodeling spa. She could provide the services that evening after the construction workers had gone home. I hesitated. No thanks, that's too much trouble.  Oh no trouble she assured me. She didn't want to miss out on a customer.  At this point I must mention that I could tell she was Vietnamese which becomes important later on. How did I know? I have worked with Vietnamese parents and children for 17 years and I can pick out their accents.

I finally agreed.  The price was right and what the hell, I'd open my mind and give it a try.  I got there a little before 6 pm. I opened the door and was surprised to see a bona fide construction zone. Steel beams, piles of tile, trenches cut in the marble floor.  This remodel is not going to be finished in one more day I thought. A woman named Becky (Vietnamese, of course, just like I thought) greeted me and steered me back to the first room past the lobby construction. Not a great room but adequate. A massage table, some weird machines, a chair and some ceiling open to the roof.

Becky told me she would do a Thai massage first and then the facial. We had to go through this more than once since her accent was so heavy.  That's saying something because I'm pretty good at understanding Vietnamese English. It started like a regular massage, dim lights, soothing music, and a really fantastic foot massage. It progressed nicely to a hot stone massage which I'd never had before for my upper back. Also very nice. She did keep talking to me and I couldn't understand a word. Unfortunately, she was asking me questions so there were a few puzzles.

It got a little dicey at the end of the massage.  It was the most intimate massage I've ever had and I took the baths at Baden Baden in Germany where everyone walked around naked. So, she's massaging my legs and I swear she got up on the table and pressed on my coccyx and tried to spread my hips (?). All the time I was telling myself, just relax, keep an open mind. Very unusual experience.

I turned over for the roughest facial ever! If you've ever had a facial you know that at some point the aesthetician usually pats your face quickly with both hands.  I swear my teeth were knocking together! No joke.  I was actually paying to be smacked upside the face! And when she took the mask off I think she used wet sand paper - ouch! I'm not a huge fan of facials in the first place but this was really something. My shoulders tensed right up. By this time too my legs were asleep from the knees down. The cushion under my knees was too small and cut off my circulation. That was a new experience.

On the plus side I must admit that the leg and hip massage she did while waiting for the mask to do its thing was great and loosened up my joints.  But it didn't really make up for the smacking and the sandpaper.

Becky was very nice and I know she was doing her best but between the language barrier, the smack down and the coccyx thing I don't think I'll go back. It's interesting that here in Orange County, Vietnamese immigrants have chosen to go into personal service jobs. My own observation has been that "gentle" is not a common cultural characteristic. I've had some pretty rough manicures and pedicures which is why I have  avoided Asian spas in the past. Right about now I'm thinking that might be a pretty good policy.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

And the winner is...

Grammys, Emmys, Tonys, and more!
Actors, singers, directors galore!
Red carpets, and gowns
Diamonds abound!
Applause from their peers
Awards up their rears!
Hollywood honors their own every year.


Not enough are the millions
They're paid to pretend.
Not enough the applause
or the fame they can't spend.
They've got to have statues, awards, and some bling
No matter the mansions or easy living.


Awards and statues and bling oh no!
Applause and red carpets, a big no show.
No millions, no mansions for most of us here.
Cure a kid, build a bridge, not even a cheer.
But in Hollywood dear, fame and fortune are found
And awards just for acting (pretending) abound.


Check real estate listings and you will see
A part in a sitcom lands you in Beverlee.
Movie star wages are millions each flick
Even directors are millionaires - click.
With all that they have do they really crave more?
More applause, more awards, just more, more and more?

Free Speech, Mine and Theirs

I went to the post office the other day to drop off my Christmas cards.  The post office is a good place for people to set up tables for petitions and whatnot.  That day several tables were set up and manned by a bunch of retirees having a good ole time talking to passersby and distributing literature about the evils of the current Washington administration.  There was one poster in particular that I have seen before and find odious and offensive and it was posted on the side of the table that day.

The poster shows President Obama with a Hitlerian mustache.  In what universe can one possible compare Barack Obama with Hitler?  Hitler exterminated over 6 million people and destroyed vast parts of Europe. He tortured, enslaved, and starved millions more. Obama is a lawyer from Illinois who, although he is president, must have approval from Congress to do anything. He is not a dictator or tyrant. Are the people who produce and display such offensive posters so ignorant that they don't know anything about Hitler or World  War II? No. They're bigots who can't think of a more vile comparison and use it as a scare tactic to perpetuate their own fear and hatred. I could say they are uninformed or afraid of change but that would be cutting them too much slack, giving them too much credit. Bigots, racists one and all.

As I left the post office one old man approached me waving a piece of paper saying, "You'll want to read this!" I didn't even turn my head or hesitate.  I walked to my car fuming.  If I had stopped I wouldn't have been able to keep a cool head or use decent language. Next time though, I think I will stop and say a few words. Bigot and racist will be first on my list. Ignorant POS may be next.

Silence allows such hatred and bigotry to spread. No one approaches these people, nice older white guys and gals, except those with like minds.  Most people just walk by and ignore the folks manning the tables. I can see why. If you disagree and speak up, you are outnumbered. You are facing off against a group.  That's why gangs are successful, there is safety in numbers. However, it is high time those of us who disagree with the hatred and lies they spew, stand up to them in public places to make it clear that they are NOT the voice of the people. I am "the people" too  and they do not speak for me!

Thursday, December 15, 2011

What Did You Say?

This is just me being picky but in what language is /ou/ pronounced /u/ like cute or huge? In English /ou/ has two basic pronunciations in words like 'group'  or 'ounce'. For some unknown reason in the word 'coupon' the /ou/ is pronounced like the /u/ in cue or cute. What is that about and where did it come from?

The other word is 'kindergarten'. I work in an elementary school where even the administration cannot pronounce that simple word. I can't count how many educated people I know say "kindygarten". These are people in education who should know better.  Not only that, when they speak to parents whose first language isn't English they mispronounce the word and pass on the error.  I wonder if they really think 'kindygarten' is correct or are they too lazy to pronounce it correctly?

Maybe both words come from previous eras and areas where 'wash' was pronounced 'warsh' for example and Los Angeles had a variety of mispronunciations.  I can't even begin to spell the variations. I'd need that nasty pronunciation guide at the beginning of the dictionary and then you, the reader, wouldn't be able to decipher the spelling either.

Let's not forget the word "nuclear" which even public speakers often pronounce as "nucular". Elected officials are the worst offenders.  They stand up in front of a microphone and mispronounce it until it starts to sound right.  It's not but they seem so sure of themselves. You'd think one of their many aides would correct them.  But no, it's a ubiquitous error most people probably don't even hear any more. Imagine trying to look up 'nucular' in a dictionary.

I can't tell you how many times in a school year children study how to use a dictionary.  It's unreal. And it's really, really boring.  How many times have you referred to the pronunciation guide in the dictionary?  None? I thought so.  Before I started having to teach it I never so much as looked at it. If I did, it looked like some foreign language which in a sense it is. With its upside down e's and triangle hats and double dots it's confusing and not very helpful. It's a code, and breaking it takes some serious study. Even then it's not overly helpful.

Mostly people just reproduce what they hear others say, right or wrong. And sometimes it's just plain wrong.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

How Much Does It Cost?

I ask again, how much do things cost? Trying to the find the cost of anything these days requires some diligent research.  Is there a one day sale? Do I get a percentage off if I use a credit card? How much is it if I have a "store" card? Do I need to produce the coupon I was emailed? If I sign up for yet another credit card how much will the store take off? It's insane!

Recently I shopped a "pre-sale" in a small luxury store. The sale didn't start for two days but I could get the sale price that day if I were willing to wait for my items to be shipped FREE. What kind of math is that?   Let's get this straight - the store was willing to give me the sale price that day if I could wait for an employee to pack it in a box and pay to ship it to my house. AND since I bought more than $50 worth of items I received a another $35 item free.  From that last bit I conclude that the $35 item wasn't worth more than a dollar. Is that any way to run a business? They could have just given me the sale price and I would have taken it home saving the cost of the employee required to box it and the cost of shipping. Completely nuts!

Then there's the scam of those store cards. I went into CVS, a store I rarely shop in, to buy something, I don't remember what but probably some cold medicine I needed right then.  The price was listed in large red numbers under the item and when I got to the register I had to pay almost double for the item because I didn't have a store card. What kind of sh** is that? I guess there was some XXXfine print that explained this but even with my glasses on I couldn't read it. I don't want a store card.  I've got too many cards in my wallet already.  I felt totally ripped off. No, I was totally ripped off.

Grocery stores do the same thing with their "cards". At the end of your purchase the checker informs you how much you "saved" by using your card.  How about if the goods were accurately priced in the first place. I avoid supermarkets most of the time for that very reason. During the last weeks long strike by supermarket employees, I, as a union member, refused to cross the picket line.  I discovered a small family market with superior produce and a fabulous meat counter and have shopped there ever since. Another plus, they play Hawaiian music in the background. Their produce is fresher and cheaper than the supers. Their meat is more expensive but it is flavorful, tender, and I can get the exact amount I want. AND they have no "card"!  The price is the price is the price. What a relief! We also shop at Trader Joe's, another store with no member cards and honest prices.

I can't let this go until I complain about big stores whose "one day" sales have gone on every day since Thanksgiving. Why not just have a holiday sale until Christmas and let it go? Save some advertising dollars.  If I'm out shopping and have forgotten my coupon that's license to rip me off. Let's not forget using the store credit card. Use it and you get money off, apply for it and you win the savings jackpot. What the hell? Are all stores going bankrupt from marking goods down OR is the sale price a more accurate reflection of the item's true cost?

I am becoming increasingly convinced that all goods everywhere are marked up so retailers can mark them down enticing shoppers in to "save money". If you buy an item, guess what, you're not saving money you're spending it. I could ask,"How stupid does the retail industry think we are?" But I already know answer. Consumers are gullible and incapable of critical thinking.

Lest you think I've opted out of the crazy retail games, I can tell you I'm no exception. I applied for a Sears card to save money on a new refrigerator and an REI VISA to get a $100 gift card.  So here I am with two cards I'll never use just to "save" some money.

Used to be only car prices were hiked up and subject to negotiation. Everyone knew it and acted accordingly.  Not any more. Now everywhere you go you have to wonder, how much should this really cost and am I carrying the right cards and coupons for this store? What a scam.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

'Tis the Season

Those of you who are offended by decoration critiques should read no further. 'Tis the season to be tacky, really tacky. It wasn't always this ridiculous.  When I was growing up most houses had a set of multi-colored lights strung up on the eaves of the house.  A few threw caution to the winds and added some yard reindeer or a Santa. But mostly it was just lights.  Some of the lights were low enough for young hoodlums to unscrew and throw up into the air delighting at the popping noise and the shattered bulb in the street. I'm not admitting to anything but I saw it done.

When my kids were little we'd take one night and drive to the neighborhood that had every house decorated to the rafters.  Besides lights on the eaves, they were hung in branches, wrapped around tree trunks, and draped in shrubbery. Santa with a full complement of reindeer landed on roofs or in front yards.  Some yards sported Santa's workshop complete with elves and snow.  Those nights we were part of a slow parade of cars cruising the streets oohing and aahing at the fantasy and glitter.

Let's fast forward to 2011.  I drive to work in the morning and see a holiday green inflatable Santa train (I know Santa doesn't drive a train but I didn't design the thing) in a local yard.  Most mornings though poor Santa and his choo choo are a wad of green nylon melted onto the lawn. As the season wears on, more and more inflatable Santas, reindeer, sleds, and even snowmen appear on lawns. In their deflated state these caricatures of traditional symbols are but sad puddles, unidentifiable to the passerby.  Unlike lights which disappear in the daylight these cheesy balloon characters spend their days putting the ugly on the house they "decorate".

These are cheap (maybe not inexpensive, I don't know) and dirty decorations.  They take no time to put up or take down. Little thought or effort is required for  their installation. No one thinks about aesthetics when putting one up. Just plug the guy in and up he goes. Instant Christmas or instant Halloween if you like. Worst of all is how really ugly they are.  There's not a classy one out there. They look like bad cartoons when they're up and trash when they're down.

The argument that kids love them and Christmas is for kids just doesn't fly. Kids love lots of things they shouldn't have and parents have been known to say, "Absolutely not!" We loved stealing bulbs and tossing them into the street but I doubt any parent would take their kids out to do that!

The blight cast on neighborhoods by these tacky "decorations" is sad. Perfectly presentable homes fronted by lush lawns and blooming shrubs  instantly become showcases of quick and dirty decor advertising the owners' lack of taste and class. Eye candy it's not.

I have to come clean and admit this comes from a woman who will do almost anything to avoid hauling out Christmas decorations. I have spent Christmas in Costa Rica and am planning a mountain Christmas to avoid the chore. It's not that I don't love the signs of the season, I do. But after years of hauling dusty boxes down from the rafters I just got tired of the process. Now I'm happy enjoying other people's decorations, unless of course the decor includes those, those....THINGS!

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Michael, Herman, and the NBA

Someone has to take the blame for Michael Jackson's death. I thought Conrad Murray was that guy and he was, but since he's flat broke he can't compensate the "family" for Jackson's early demise. I'm surprised he lasted as long as did.  Mama Jackson and Michael's children have decided to sue AEG, the company that financed Michael's comeback tour, claiming that AEG caused Jackson's death. Really! Here's the argument: the pressure from the company was too much for the singer and caused him to take more drugs.  Fascinating. Last I checked Michael Jackson was a 50 year old adult who cared for his children, signed his own contracts, and ran his own life. Now his family is juvenilizing him. Portraying him as a poor incompetent child who was unable to make his own decisions. Too bad they weren't as concerned about him when he actually was a child.

I know I'm not the only one who saw the movie made of his rehearsals.  He looked energetic, self-aware, and totally in charge of the whole business. I'm glad AEG is a large company with means and attorneys to stomp on this frivolous lawsuit. Not to mention I'm sick of the Michael Jackson cult.  He was a grown man and drug addict who may have been a child molester. Not only did he dig his own grave, he paid people to help him do it. What a guy!

Let's talk molestation. Herman Cain. Apparently he never heard of Arnold Schwarzenegger whose grope-inator reputation cut him off at the knees politically. Cain has decided to go with the, "I didn't do it" defense.  The old "those women" are part of the Democratic machine and are lying defense. Shades of Clarence Thomas (who by the way has never asked a question or made a statement in court since being appointed,  he's really engaged in the process!). It's hard to believe he thinks he's credible and harder to believe he doesn't look back at the recent history of political candidates brought down by allegations of sexual misconduct. I say go for it Herman.  If the GOP runs you as their candidate Obama will certainly serve a second term.

Is this fall great or what? No basketball messing up the TV schedules.  No inane sports drivel driving me out of the room for some peace.  Really I wouldn't mind basketball if it was played in silence.  I don't know how the sportscasters do it.  I don't know how they talk nonstop for two and a half hours about nothing.  And then the nearly preverbal players are interviewed. Why? They have nothing to say.  I can predict what they'll say win or lose, "It was a great game. We played a good game." And these guys went to college or at least spent a few years playing ball for a college. So, thank you team owners for locking out the NBA players. I'm enjoying the peace and quiet.

Monday, November 7, 2011

Extend Your Warranty

Last weekend we purchased a new refrigerator. Our old one still works but it freezes refrigerated food and I've never liked the side by side arrangement. So after searching the web for good prices and going to several appliance stores, we ended up at Sears. They had just what I wanted and they had it in white, an increasingly rare color.  Now I watch HGTV and know that stainless steel is the latest and greatest but all my other appliances are white and frankly the steel fridges looked too industrial for my taste. If I wanted to live in a sheet metal plant I could. But the real issue here is the warranty.

Why is it that every time you want to buy a major appliance the salespeople go overboard trying to sell you on the extended warranty? They give you this long spiel about how the electronics are expensive to replace and a service call is $100 and on and on. So on Saturday I looked at the salesman and thought, what, is there something wrong with the fridge that you're not telling me? Are your products defective from the get go? Even the department manager got in the action, strongly advising us to buy the extended warranty. I almost told them to void the sale if the machine is so unreliable that it will break down after one year.

However, my experience has been that even if you do buy the extended warranty, things always break down a week or two after it has expired, so it doesn't do you any good anyway. We only get an extended warranty when I purchase appliances on my own and am sucked into the sales pitch.  I admit it I'm a sucker. My husband who can actually fix or at least diagnose appliance problems never buys the extended warranty.

Now when I really think about it, extended warranties are like little short-term insurance policies. I don't know about you but the whole insurance industry makes me see red. You'll notice they're not going under. I've got insurance for two houses, two cars, medical insurance, flood insurance, and life insurance.  Of course all these companies will continue to insure me as long as I don't file a claim. And the flood insurance will simply never pay off because I don't really live in a flood zone.  If it ever does flood here we'll file a claim with FEMA because the deductible on the insurance would bankrupt us. How's that for ridiculous?

But back to the subject at hand. If I bought extended warranties for all my "stuff" I'd have to include my washer and dryer, my dishwasher and oven, my laptop and desktop computers, and my television. Imagine how much that comes to! Enriching insurance companies doesn't warm my heart. Wouldn't it be great if appliances and the like just worked?

Friday, October 14, 2011

Of Pigs and People

I hate to say it but it's true, people are pigs.  In no way do I intend to demean pigs, who are clean, intelligent animals, by comparing them to people.  Instead I use "pig" as it has come to mean a person who is crude, uncouth, dirty, and gluttonous. 


I know about the public because my house backs up to relatively busy street.  The noise is nearly non-existent at night but during the day  the traffic is fairly regular.  The street is about 8 feet below the top of my ubiquitous slump stone wall.  This morning I looked out of my bedroom window which overlooks the top of my patio cover and thus the street and discovered trash from a fast food place on top of the patio cover! Over the years we've had lots of odd trash thrown over the wall. Shell casings, food, bottles, and regular paper garbage. But to lob a bag of fast food trash onto the roof took a good arm and a purpose.


Somehow the trash in my yard always makes me wonder if we've been targeted for some reason. I think, "why my house?", "what did my dogs or I do to make me a target"?  That's ridiculous I know. But it is disconcerting to find strange things in your yard and to think that some unknown person chose your house as his/her garbage dump.


I wonder, what kind of person throws his garbage into some stranger's yard? Female, male, young, or old? I have my suspicions but I like to give equal consideration to all people. So in honor of  equal opportunity I put at least 75% of the public in the "pig" category. If you could see the large park near my house after a nice weekend I think you would agree.  A pig sty is cleaner. And I put my money on the intelligence of pigs over the public any day.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Blogging for Kids

Having a blog myself, I thought it would be great if my fifth and sixth graders could get in on the action. My teaching partner (younger and more technically savvy than I) found a safe site that is private and can only be viewed by the administrator (me), the kids, and their parents. So every Monday we troop into the computer lab and write blogs. Of course first I had to educate them on what a blog is.  Texting they get, blogging was new. So they go to a computer, type in the web address find their name and type their password. Ready, set, they can write their own blogs, read their classmates' blogs and even write comments.  They get as much satisfaction out of reading other people's work as they do writing their own.

Doing this is more work for me which I neglected to consider beforehand, naturally.  I have to read and approve every post and every comment before it can be published to the site. The blogs are pretty much limited to the number of kids but the comments...yikes! These kids love to comment. I might have 26 blogs to read and 50 comments. Most comments are kind and supportive I have to admit.  But I have one child on the autistic scale who is honesty personified. I have to trash some of his comments like: "LAME!" or "Your grammar is bad!" or even "Why did you do something so stupid?"  I may agree with his comments but in this case honesty is not the best policy.

I'm beginning to be afraid that our blogging is not long for the web. Just this week when we logged onto the site we started getting an automatic message from the school district that that site was restricted and could not be accessed.  It did let us on, though that message remained in the background. If it does eventually kick us out I'll be royally pissed off. The district blocks so many sites already it's hard to use the internet as a research or teaching tool.

But in this case the site is safe and private and supervised so I can't see the problem. I think, wait, I know, the district just uses a broad hand to block sites without knowing anything about them. There is a lot of teaching that can go on while blogging. My kids already text each other and use Facebook without much instruction or supervision. So this is a great way for them to learn some good rules about using the internet for social exchanges.

The rules I have for blogging are good rules for all public internet sites.  No trashing other people, no bad language, read it over before you send it, and be positive and kind toward others. No naming names either. Using people's names might be ok for this site because it's closed but they need to get in the habit of maintaining their privacy as well as the privacy of others online.

Their blogs are also good writing tools.  They see first hand why spelling and punctuation and complete sentences are important when they read or try to read each other's unedited writing. They are starting to be more careful with spelling at least and recognize poor writing when they see it. It makes for a few good teaching moments. Writing skills taught with a light hand, very 21st century.

Most of all though, blogging is a good way to get kids interested in writing. They can write about whatever they want within certain limits. And they can write as little or as much as they want. They LOVE it.  After they're done with their post they can't wait to read what other people wrote. Every writer wants someone to read their "stuff" and this is a great way for kids to have an audience for their work.

But, I'm waiting for the "block" to fall. Anything fun and interesting in education today is usually shut down as soon as the administration (dum de dum dum) gets wind of it. Until we're blocked though, the kids in room 15 can be found every Monday at a computer, writing, writing, writing.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Dear Steve,

In the eighties when my children were small and I was a stay at home mom we bought our first personal computer.  I remember strange things like the fact that it cost $3500 and didn't come with a printer. I think it was an HP. I started a novel on it (never finished) but beyond that it seemed to me it didn't do much. My friend and I argued with her husband about how personal computers were useless and certainly not user-friendly. He had one of the first Apples but it didn't impress us. We couldn't foresee the day when the personal computer would be easy to use and the invention of the internet that would put the world at our finger tips.

The first Apple computers I encountered were the ones at my kids' school and then the ones at my own school. We loaded floppy discs into them to enable kids to word process and learn how to keyboard. I had a couple of the beige boxes in my classroom for kids to use. What was impressive was that children couldn't break them.  These early Apples were indestructible.  In my own house however, we continued to buy PC's because of the price and the fact that they were everywhere.  Apple was pretty small in those days and largely confined to the educational market as far as I knew. Obviously, I'm not a technological visionary.

We bought several PC's over the course of the next years. It took at least an hour of hooking up scores of cables to boot it up and then the tower was noisy and hot.  They all died of virus contamination eventually. One that my son owned even caught fire! But viruses and the software required to keep them out slowed down the computer enough that when you turned it on it took 10 minutes to boot up.  You could make and drink coffee in that time.  Many times in the middle of a project the PC simply froze and you couldn't do anything about it.  It wouldn't shut down, return to the program, nothing. Just that damned black screen. That was the worst thing about PC's, their unstable platforms. The toll the viruses and anti-virus software took on our checkbook was pretty irritating too.

Then one day a 17" iMac, still in the box, arrived in my classroom. It was a thing of beauty with all the software and hardware contained in the monitor.  It had a keyboard and a mouse and a cord.  Five minutes to plug it in and I was good to go.  I was in computer heaven.  Here was a device that did everything I wanted it to do. The internet was fast, the graphics outstanding, and it was QUIET and cool.  I was hooked.  Not too long after that I convinced my other half that we should have one.  We still have it in the den where not a single virus has plagued us. Nor do we have any anti-virus software to corrupt our hardware. Yes it was more expensive than a PC which was one of the reasons we had purchased PC's in the past. But the higher price has translated into a longer lasting device that has paid for itself. We've added more RAM and for a mere $30 updated the operating system.  I use a Mac internet service so I can work at home and access it at school on my idisk and vice versa. I was and am a convert.

Now I'm an Apple freak. I use my iPod everyday to listen to books and music while driving, exercising or just doing boring household chores. I hate to drive my husband's car because it lacks a dock for my iPod.  It stores loads of books and music and is reliable with a long lasting battery and plenty of functions. I also have a MacBook so I can shop while watching TV or write while sitting on the couch or in the kitchen as I am now. The battery life on this is amazing.  I even have an iPad that I took to Europe so I could keep in touch. As you might imagine, Apple products litter my family room.

True, every once in awhile I get what I call "the spinning wheel of death". That multi-colored wheel that tells the user the computer is working.  That's when the computer is "stuck".  On a Mac you just hold down the on and off button and it shuts down, ready to reboot in about 10 seconds. Pure genius.

I thank Apple for pulling me along with them into the computer age with aesthetically beautiful products designed for all kinds of users, even not so savvy ones like me.

Your vision will be missed.

Friday, September 30, 2011

Nuke It!

Technology makes itself obsolete before I can read the instructions on the device I just bought. New gadgets and electronics seem to appear everyday, designed to make our lives  not only easier and more efficient but more fun too. We buy X-Boxes, Wii's, iPhones, iPads, 3-D TV's, and loads of other new and exciting stuff.  You can purchase a fridge with a computer, an alarm clock that predicts the weather, and books with no paper. My vacuum cleaner even tells me when the carpet is clean.  We have become so blase` about astonishing new inventions that nothing can surprise us anymore.  A phone that reads bar codes and takes videos?  So yesterday. Download a book in seconds? So what? Depending on your age you can't remember a time when technology didn't  upgrade every nanosecond.  Too bad really, because the excitement of discovering new technology is gone.

Can you remember when microwave ovens were first for sale?  They were actually invented as a by-product of the war effort during WWII.  But they were huge and not commercial. Even as they got smaller they were still not user friendly.
  


But then, a miracle. Do you remember your family's first microwave? I do. It was big and cumbersome and took up a huge amount of counter space. And the things it could do! Imagine cooking a baked potato in 5 minutes! Bacon could be had with a couple of paper towels and a plate.  No more grease all over the stove. A real advantage to children whose job it was to clean the kitchen.

The real excitement (besides baked potatoes)  was the way leftovers could be reheated plate by plate. No more pots and pans to scrub every night.  We grew to love the nights I later called "scrounge" because everyone could have something different. We'd get out all the leftovers and make our own TV dinners. This box saved time, energy and money. It was amazing and exciting and everyone could use it. Microwaves weren't just for mom or dad, they were a family gizmo and you could experience the excitement of a 5 minute potato anytime you wanted.

Think about life without one. No reheated coffee or food. And think how long frozen dinners would take to cook. The frozen meal industry took off after the invention of the microwave.  Before this, the only frozen food I ever ate was a Swanson's TV Dinner when my parents went out.  What a treat that was and the food was pretty awful.

For a time, many of us tried to cook actual meals in the microwave.  I cooked macaroni and cheese that boiled over every time. I had a fillet of sole recipe that looked promising but wasn't. We learned that rolls reheated became chewy but tortillas could be perfectly heated. Cooking vegetables in the microwave still produces edible meals. Still, reheating meals or cooking frozen meals remains the microwave's primary function I imagine.

The RadarRange, as the first ones were called, delivered on it's promise to make life easier and simpler. Moreover, the excitement this new technology generated was incredible. Recent technology is indeed more sophisticated but it hardly makes anyone's life simpler nor does it create the excitement of the microwave coming as it did at a time when modern electronics was in its infancy.





Thursday, September 15, 2011

Grammar and Punctuation

Since I've been writing and rewriting this blog I have found myself in many a quandary about grammar and punctuation.  Not so much spelling because I've always been a naturally good speller.  As I write this, I just had to look up how to spell "quandary" and it took me a few minutes.  The grammar part of writing is not a huge issue.  I can usually get that right by rereading what I wrote. But it's the punctuation that gets me as you know if you read this blog and know your punctuation rules.

Commas. These little snarky pieces of print drive me nuts. I know you use them when making a list.  I'm clear on that. But as for other uses I just make up the rules as I go along. That's not a comforting confession from a writing teacher but there it is. If I think I want the reader to pause, I stick in a comma.  If I want to offset an aside I either use a comma or parentheses.  Somehow I think both of those are wrong but who knows. I'm sure if I were writing the great American novel I'd have to know about this but a blog is much more casual.  At least that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Colons: What's up with those? And who decided to name a body part after it? I've no idea what to do with those.  I've been known to use them in memos to parents or in complaint letters. You use them when expressing time, of that I'm absolutely positive.

Semi-colons; A colon but not. Can't even use those to tell time.  All they're good for any more is making a smiley face that's winking ;).

"Quotation marks" I do know how to use these but quite frankly they're a pain. You have periods and commas and quotation marks and indenting all getting in on the action.  You can't read the dialogue for the punctuation. In some books they're left out as a literary device and in others an apostrophe stands in for them. So it seems like they're optional. Don't tell my students that!

'Apostrophes' These drive kids mad. Before the s, after the s, between the n and t or before the n. Kids have a hard time remembering the rules.  In other languages possession is actually written out like "le chapeau de ma mere", my mother's hat.  But in English another lousy comma-like bit of print tells us what belongs to who or whom (another quandary). And if you don't put it in exactly the right place when using contractions your teacher will mark it wrong.  You have to be very careful with these bits.

Everything else is pretty easy to handle.  Question marks, periods, and exclamation points are good solid punctuation, useful and easy to use. Did I need a semi-colon there? See what I mean? It's confusing.

Look For the Union Label

Labor unions are under attack from every side.  They've been blamed for everything from the economic recession to global warming. I know people who think business should be able to operate unfettered by laws, that corporations will police themselves and the market will take care of the rest. I call these people crazy and uneducated.  Most people these days also hate public sector labor unions  because of what they perceive as unfair pensions and job security. I also have a name for these people, ignorant.

I, of course, have a bias. I belong to a union, my parents both belonged to unions and My Girl was arbitrarily dismissed from a job over some gossip precisely because she had no protections. My mother walked the picket line for six weeks back in the early seventies when teachers were paid less than locksmiths working for Los Angeles Unified School District.  That labor action changed everything for teachers in this state. Teachers had a fighting chance to make a living wage. Because of that strike teachers today are better compensated and have a voice in decision making.

Anyone who thinks that business will take care of its employees with pressure from market factors is out of their mind, plain and simple. A business cares about its bottom line and stockholders that's it.  It doesn't care about individual employees and never has.  Why do you think labor unions were formed in the first place? Even if you don't belong to a union you have them to thank for the 40 hour work week, for eliminating child labor in this country, and for demanding safe workplaces.  They are responsible for holding business and government accountable for working conditions. They protect members from being fired on a whim without cause and pressure government to enact labor laws for non-union employees.

Without labor unions, our manufacturing plants would look like India or China where workers labor for pennies under unsafe conditions for long hours. We would have children at work rather than at school.  Why do you think corporations took their manufacturing overseas? They can get cheap labor and no one demands they pay a living wage or provide safe working conditions.

The media has exposed inequities in the public employee pension system but remember these people SERVED the public for many years at salaries not commensurate with private industry. They contributed to their pensions and many also contributed, as I do, to mutual funds similar to a 401K. Only a very few draw huge pensions from one or more funds and I can't condone that. On the other hand  I'm also not a fan of huge payouts to CEO's or health care and a huge pension for life if one serves one measly term as a state or federal representative.

So if you have paid vacation (I don't by the way), a 40 hour work week, and a safe workplace you can thank those brave laborers of the early 20th century who fought for the workers' right to organize and strike if necessary. Those among you who applaud the erosion of labor's power and the destruction of unions will eventually suffer the consequences as big business will no doubt turn back the clock on workers' rights.

Friday, September 9, 2011

Take a Second, Make a Difference

Just when you think one person can't possibly make a difference in this over populated world we live in, some random event happens to prove you wrong.  It took just one ordinary Arizona power company employee to throw 4 million people into chaos. Wow! That's a major coup! One dude in a uniform doing routine maintenance disrupted the lives of 4 million people spanning two countries.  A cell of committed terrorists couldn't have done better.

In the middle of a heat wave with temperatures in the 100's, millions lost power, not because there wasn't adequate power but because the grid providing the power went down. My Girl in San Diego was in the center of the gridlock trying to drive the 25 miles home from work with no traffic lights.  When the power went down everyone from all over San Diego County left work and the transportation system just isn't designed to handle an entire county on the move at the same time. To make matters worse there simply aren't enough cops to do traffic duty so every intersection is a 4 way stop. Some people abandoned their cars by the side of the road. Others heeded the call of nature despite onlookers.  With so many on the roads, anyone requiring roadside assistance was on their own.

 Our reliance on electronics makes a power outage a personal disaster in a severe heat wave. People on oxygen were advised to go to a hospital to avoid overheating their oxygen tank and risking an explosion. Scary! As temperatures rise in your house to over 90  and your refrigerator remains quiet, what food you have begins to warm and spoil. Lots of garbage for next week's pickup. If you have cash you can't buy food because the stores have closed as have the restaurants.  If you don't carry cash like many of us who rely on ATM/Debit cards, you might as well be flat broke because you have no way to get any money. Water was the only utility my girl in San Diego had at her house.

Those on the edge of the outage could drive to areas with power.  A friend and her family were able to  get to a restaurant and eat in air conditioned comfort before returning to sleep in their 90 degree house. The Boy lives on the edge with power so he was lucky and could turn on the AC in the 100 degree heat. BTW why doesn't a keyboard have a degree sign?

Of course a day without power is nothing compared to the suffering endured by people in areas hit by hurricanes and tornados. But I'm pretty sure that doesn't make the people affected by the power outage feel much better. When I was a kid I never wanted to "clean my plate" just because "people in China" were starving.  How was that supposed to make me hungry? Same thing applies here.  How does knowing that some people are homeless due to a hurricane make it easier to sleep in 90 degree heat?

There are lessons to be learned here.  The same ones all Californians should know by heart. Always carry some cash in small bills. Keep a supply of water at your house and in your car. Carry comfortable shoes in your car. Stock up on flashlights and batteries. And in this day and age keep all of your electrical devices charged. That means laptops, phones, iPads, iPods, Kindles and any other device necessary for communication and entertainment. It's a real drag to get home and find all your electronics out of juice.

When the power comes back on, officials ought to be prepared for a massive surge as 4 million people plug in and power up. I hope they're ready.

Monday, September 5, 2011

A Meeting of the Dogs

The meeting of the Big Dog and the XS dog was not auspicious. As soon as he walked into the house XS barked vigorously inviting him to go after her so he did.  Like a cat she leaped on the couch, raced across the back, jumped onto the floor and hid in a corner behind the kitchen table. She shook with fright. The Big Dog went right through out into the backyard where LWD (Little White Dog) was glad to see him. At last another real dog! Meanwhile the little barker shivered pathetically in her corner.   We decided to wait until the next evening to introduce the two dogs. So all day XS sat at the slider like the cat who swallowed the canary and inspected the Big Dog from a position of safety.

The introduction went well. XS barked while we held the Big Dog's collar.  He wagged his tail and looked at her with interest.  She bounded around, back and forth, up and down trying to decide on his threat level. I think she decided to treat him warily and was no longer sure he was going to eat her.  On that score she was mistaken. XS loves to be chased and run laps around the yard at top speed.  Running after small animals is the Big Dog's favorite activity next to pulling possums out of trees. We decided they could be together in the house and outside but outside required supervision. Ultimately, unless XS draws attention to herself by barking, the Big Dog largely ignores her.  However, his eyes light up and his tail curls to attention if she starts to make motions like she wants to play. Unfortunately we can't allow this. It's like a toddler in a lion cage, the toddler doesn't stand a chance even if the lion doesn't mean any harm.


To recap: LWD is safe with both dogs. XS is safe with LWD but not the Big Dog.  The Big Dog is safe with LWD but not XS. They can all sleep together in the family room while we watch TV.  In reality this has meant a merry-go-round of dogs in and out of the house.

Dogs are fickle creatures.  First they want in, then some imaginary noise or scent alerts them to danger and they want out to investigate. All evening long it's up and down and in and out. The LWD likes to be outside at night and when he wants some company or has some evil desire to drive us nuts, he barks a couple of times so the Big Dog will awaken and demand to be let out. Barely five minutes later the Big Dog is pawing at the glass to come in because there was nothing out there. Then we have to find "his" towel and wipe down his jowls and send him to his bed. Of course, just like a baby, whenever XS wakes up from a nap we have to take her out to pee. All of this activity in the evening leaves me irritable, annoyed and tired.

We find ourselves going to bed early just so we can lock up the mutts and have some peace to finish reading a page in a book or to watch the end of a TV show.  The Boy will be back tomorrow afternoon and take The Big Dog home.  Having only 2 dogs will be as easy as pie after this three ring circus we've been running.






Friday, September 2, 2011

Pave Paradise, Put Up a Parking Lot

Parking lots. Necessary for those of us who drive cars everywhere. We've all thought about parking lots a few times.  The lot is full. I can't find my car! How do I get out of this parking maze? Sound familiar? But how many of you have thought of the ongoing irritation of the parking lot which is: once you've parked your car and gotten out how are you supposed to get to your destination?  In most lots there are no walkways, no pedestrian right of ways, and precious few crosswalks to protect the "motorist turned pedestrian".

Instead we walk down rows of cars in the middle of what is basically a street hoping we won't get run over by a car pulling out of it's space. We squeeze between cars to "cut" through the lot to our destination. Sometimes we have to push through decorative shrubs to cross the lot. Large dim parking structures are especially dangerous for pedestrians since we can't easily be seen and finding our cars can sometimes be difficult.

I know there is a science to creating a lot or structure that works.  One must have spaces of the right width and angle, convenient entrances and exits, and an adequate number of spaces. But nowhere do the designers of parking lots allow for the pedestrians that leave the cars and have to walk in the lot. Why not? I don't know why not.  I would think it's a no-brainer.  Designated walkways in parking lots would be more efficient and most important safer for all concerned.

But wait! Safety and efficiency aren't the goal of parking structure builders.  The real goal is fitting the most cars into the smallest space. Parking lots and structures are just storage for cars. The fact that people on foot must  also navigate them is incidental to the builders' goal.

I knew that all along, but whenever I wind my way through a parking lot, pushing through bushes and crossing busy lanes to my car I always think that someone somewhere should design a parking lot for cars AND people.

Appreciation

I ran into an acquaintance at lunch the other day and we talked about what we did over the summer.  I said that I had gone to Europe and she responded that she bet that made me really appreciate the U.S. I nodded and smiled while thinking, not exactly. The European countries in which I traveled are known for their clean cities and pristine lakes. Europe has been "green" far longer than we have and it shows.

I have not traveled all over the United States but I've driven enough miles to say with relative confidence that many of our highways are eyesores.  One can't see the desert for the billboards or the forest for the litter. The beaches of the Pacific are scattered with plastics, syringes, and styrofoam.  The water is especially dangerous after a storm when the run-off from the cities washes bacteria, oil and garbage into the sea.

Downtown Los Angeles and Hollywood, prime tourist spots, sport filthy sidewalks, graffiti, and gutters of trash. I understand the attraction of Hollywood, the well-publicized sunny weather, and Disneyland. But as far as spending time seeing the city attractions I am mystified.

I've been to Olvera Street which is dirty and unpleasant and to the Disney Concert Hall which is surrounded by ugly parking lots and weedy vacant lots. The downtown music center is lovely but don't travel too far from it. Other districts such as the garment and toy districts are seedy at best and filthy at worst. The Natural History Museum and the Science Museum are great attractions, but again the surrounding area is marginal. Nowhere does city government take a sustained interest in keeping Los Angeles clean and attractive.

Contrast that with the relatively trash free cities of Munich, Salzburg, and Vienna.  Smaller towns and villages are even cleaner.  Tourist sites are especially well maintained. Given the number of tourists from all over the world it must take a herculean effort on the part of the state to keep places clean.

I'll grant you that they have more rules and regulations and pay more taxes than we do but in exchange they get clean cities, fine beers and chocolates, and health care.  Their lakes are not fouled by jet skis or used as garbage dumps. I didn't get to the ocean but the Ligurian Sea in Italy was lovely and clean when I was there a few years ago.

At this point, given the current political infighting and the  effort to NOT provide health care for every citizen, I'm not sure I do appreciate living here. The attitude of the populace seems to be that of a spoiled, self-centered toddler.  No one is willing to give up anything they like for the greater good. Not shark fin soup, not four wheeling in fragile habitats, not  enormous houses, nothing. Most aren't even willing to pick up their own trash.  We all want to blame someone else for the dirty world we live in but we are the culprits, tossing cigarette butts out of car windows, discarding fast food wrappers in parking lots, and even leaving dirty diapers in stores.

Given all of that, I'd like to try living somewhere else for a time. A place that's clean where people give a damn about society as a whole not just their own small piece of it.

Summer Shorts

Eyes.  I've had my last cataract replaced with a bionic lens. Thank god I only have 2 eyes! At the surgery center I was the youngest person there.  Everyone else was born in '30 something judging from the birth dates repeated to nurses checking I.D.'s.  I had no idea that I didn't live in a smog filled city.  That old song, "I can see clearly now the rain is gone..." must apply to cataract patients. Wow, what a lot of color in the world! I have some restrictions for a couple of weeks. No heavy lifting, that gets me out of the gym. No bending over, can't pick up stuff.  No swimming, that's unfortunate since I was just getting in the habit of swimming every couple of days. No eye make-up for two weeks. Umm, a problem.  My eyelashes and brows are blond which means unless I slather on some color, you can't see them. If no one wore makeup I'd look just fine but compared to other women I look a little, shall we say, washed out or even featureless. But since I don't have to look at myself all day I shan't worry.

Puppies. Everyone my age  swears they won't get another dog when their current one expires.  Apparently they have really good memories of what it means to have a puppy.  I, on the other hand, can remember childbirth like it was yesterday but had forgotten the work required to raise a puppy. This little cutie spent too much time at the breeder's house and is not housebroken at six months. So every time she piddles I have to drag the small shop vac up or down the stairs and suck up the mess. Why a shop vac? The people who sold me the carpet said it was the best way to clean up liquids.  Blotting can push the liquid  into the carpet.  Ok, fine! But dragging around the shop vac with it's long cord and bulky hose and cleaning it out....what a pain! Not to mention that I've spent more time in the last couple of weeks standing out on the grass in the backyard waiting for her to pee than you would believe. Morning, afternoon, at night in the dark.  You name it I'm there, waiting, waiting, waiting.

Construction. We finally have the last price for our bathroom update. Hesitation. Now that I have to make the decision to spend the money I choke. I hate spending large amounts of money on house projects.  I have no problem spending money on vacations and frequently spend more than I had planned and have never regretted it. But paying guys to make a mess in my house for weeks on end makes my stomach churn. Even though it's not a bathroom we use, updating it will disrupt the entire house and probably my yard as well.  I have only enjoyed one house project.  We retiled and re-plastered our pool, or rather some guys did.  They arrived after I went to work and were gone when I got home.  Literally, I never saw them. It was priceless.




Friday, August 26, 2011

Is it soup yet?

California is considering a ban on the sale of shark fins which is a delicacy and used in a traditional Chinese soup. Washington, Oregon, and Hawaii have already banned  shark fin sales. Some ethnic Chinese see the ban as an attack on their culture in which shark fin soup is traditionally served at weddings costing as much as $100 a bowl to impress guests.

The problem is that centuries ago when shark fin soup became popular, sharks were not easy to catch. Presumably that's where the tradition came from.  It was a delicacy because it wasn't readily available. Now however, sharks are being efficiently and easily hunted to extinction. Tens of millions of sharks (yes you read that correctly) are killed annually to feed the market for their fins.  In this fishing business sharks are caught, their fins cut off, and their dead bodies thrown back into the ocean. Sharks face extinction due to overfishing. What then will replace shark fin soup?

At the top of the marine food chain sharks are essential to the health of our oceans. You can't say the same thing about shark fin soup. Not one soul will perish due to a shortage of shark fins.  Yet, should sharks become extinct the whole ecology of our oceans could change dramatically.  Just how is unknown.

I may be taken for a cultural Neanderthal but I think that protecting the oceans for the world profoundly overwhelms anyone's "need" for shark fin soup. Sharks typically bear only one or two pups a season which naturally keeps their numbers low and hampers their ability to rebound from overkill. The species as a whole cannot survive the Chinese taste for this soup.

Sadly, I can no longer eat some of my traditional meals. It may seem that my heritage and traditions aren't important or as widely followed. But you would be wrong.  I grew up eating pot roast, gravy and mashed potatoes at one grandmother's house and traditional southern fried chicken and gravy and corn bread at my other grandmother's house (but no okra, too slimy). I can't eat like that anymore. My doctor hints that I might just drop dead one day eating such meals. So we have devised other traditional meals for health reasons. Our day to day eating habits have also changed to reflect current advances in nutritional knowledge.  Of course that changes daily but we gamely try to eat a healthy diet without too much planetary destruction.

Really and truly no one will drop dead if traditional meals are changed and updated to reflect current realities. The whole world shouldn't have to pay the cost for one group's antiquated tradition. It's simply too high.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Going to the Dogs

As many times as I've written about dogs you'd think I'm a real dog person. Not really. But in the summer I am here with animals a lot. For example, I don't take my dog to dog beach or to the dog park. He doesn't go on vacation with us and I don't expect other people to like him. He sleeps outside and there are parts of the house, like the kitchen where he is not allowed. He sheds unmercifully and I dislike dog hair in my food.  My living room is also a dog-free zone so there is little dog hair there either. I'm not a big fan of other people's dogs either. It's kind of like kids.  I like my own but not other people's.

If you remember, I tried out a rescue dog a few weeks ago that didn't work out.  I wanted a small lap dog. Now I know it's not cool to want a lap dog, what The Boy calls "an almost dog", but in their defense I must say they don't destroy the house or yard, chew up your shoes, or take 2 years to become an adult dog. The yard is also a small clean up job.

You can see where this is leading.  I got another dog.  This time I went to a breeder.  Before you scream, "Oh god, you should have rescued a shelter dog!", let me just say that the shelters here are filled with chihuahuas and pit bulls, neither of which appeals to me. Or other people either to judge the numbers of them in shelters.

The breeder had 2 week old puppies that looked suspiciously like little kidney beans curled up in their basket.  I would have to wait an additional 8 weeks if I wanted one and I'm not too good at delayed gratification.  I'd have to just pick out one out regardless of temperament.   Frankly in my experience, kidney beans don't have that much personality. Racing around the house was a 6 month old that had just been returned to the breeder  after less than a week at her first home. The owner claimed the dog was totally bonded to the husband and as she was a gift for the wife, this was unacceptable. Watching her at the breeder's house she was energetic, playful, and friendly.  So, after much agonizing and bouncing between  "Yes I should and no I shouldn't" ("If you want a dog, mom, get a dog. It's just a dog, not a kid!" advised the The Boy) I purchased the puppy.

Once home the puppy became as skittish as a feral cat. And she was so small and agile that catching her to put her outside required herding her into corner with no escape routes. It was a couple of days of hand feeding her wet dog food (yuck) before she would let me touch her. On the flip side, the little bitch bonded to hubby right away. I'd let her inside after he'd gone to work and she'd race around the house, up and down the stairs, looking for him. When satisfied that she'd explored  every room and hadn't found him she deigned to let me touch her.

She also bonded with my other dog and now imitates whatever he does.  He gets a drink, she pushes in beside him and has a few sips. he lays down and sleeps on the floor she lays right beside him and sleeps.  I put him in the garage when the gardener arrived and she went nuts trying to get in the garage with him. So I locked her in there too. Can't say I'm not accommodating!

I'm sort of looking forward to the meeting of the Big Dog and the X-small dog in a kind of sick way. Should be funny, at least for me. The Big Dog will be here while The Boy goes on another short vacation. The XS dog isn't afraid of too much.  I can tell because she's unfazed by the sound of the small shop vac we use to clean up "accidents".

Unfortunately, she's not a cuddler yet.  She spent 6 months at the breeder's house and wasn't petted very often. But I'm not discouraged.  Like every other dog I know she loves peanut butter so I'm sticking with food to win over the little bitch. Some for her, some for me, some for her, some for me. Gastronomic dog training at it's finest.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Those Who Can't, Tell Others How To

Although I swore I wouldn't write about my work, I am forced to comment. I dreamed this morning that funding to education was cut so much that my school collapsed and everyone in my building died.  I don't know if that was wishful thinking (the school collapsing, not dying) or an opinion about education today.

I am continually amazed, although I don't know why after all these years, that every podunk Representative and Senator and gubernatorial appointee thinks they have the "answer" to the education "crisis" in this country.  I wonder if there really is a crisis or if it's a political creation.  Students from all over the world flock to this country to attend our universities. These same universities admit students from our own "terrible" public schools and go on to graduate with advanced degrees. In fact there are more qualified students than spaces available here in California.

The problem is that everyone who WENT to school thinks they know how to educate children. If that were the case then no one would need a teaching credential.  Students could just step seamlessly from the college classroom to their own classroom, no credentialing required. They wouldn't need special training to teach English Language Learners or classroom management techniques to keep order.  They wouldn't need to be trained in different teaching strategies to meet the needs of diverse learners. It must be easy to teach. After all, every person in charge of educational policy went to school, so they know what it's like.

I hate to burst their bubble but that's like saying because I drive a car, I am qualified to drive in the Indy 500. Or maybe that I'm qualified to pilot a plane because I know how to fly in one.  Or hey, I've watched surgery on TV and had one or two so I think I'll be a surgeon. I know how to ski so I think I'll join the Olympic ski team.  Maybe anyone who's taken a drug is qualified to work for the FDA and decide which drugs should be approved.  Does any of this make sense? Not to me.

But still, our representatives and government appointees make educational policy decisions that affect millions of children and teachers without having any educational background aside from having been a child in school once and looking at some test scores. This doesn't work very well.  In Los Angeles the mayor's schools and the charter schools did worse overall on the standardized tests administered last spring than did LAUSD's regular schools proving that a politician and some businesses do not know much about educating children.

Finally, if I may be so bold, many of the countries with whom we are compared are culturally and linguistically homogenous. So of course they look better than we who educate an incredibly diverse population do. In my first year of teaching 7 languages were represented in my classroom and I was the only one in the room who spoke English.  Not only that but it was a combination kindergarten/first grade. Combination classes are unheard of in many states.  I would say that we here in California at least, do a damn good job of educating all of our children regardless of language, culture, or socio-economic status and with a shocking lack of materials and funding.

There! I feel better now!  No more dead teacher dreams I hope.




Thursday, August 18, 2011

Wanted: Construction Guys

I have done a lot of remodeling and updating of houses since I bought my first one in 1981.  That beauty was only 19 feet wide inside and had all the space upstairs in the 4 bedrooms.  We updated the kitchen and built a deck. The kitchen wasn't the greatest job but we were learning.  Our next house was built in 1956.  It was solid, with plaster walls and hardwood floors. In 1959 someone cut a hallway through a bedroom to create a den so the kids' bedrooms were especially small. In that house we updated the kitchen, completely remodeled a bathroom and pushed out the back of the house 7 feet. That's a lot in 6 years. Most of the work we did ourselves or hired subcontractors to do things like drywall and electrical.


Now we are getting ready to remodel the third and last bathroom in our current house.  We hired "guys" to do the previous two bathrooms and they are really beautiful.  Simple, clean, and relaxing. Those "guys" are no longer available so I have to find new guys.


In my first two houses my plumber, tile guy, demo expert, and painter lived on site so he was very reliable. Always arrived when he said he would, did a great job, and kept the place clean.  All I had to do was take care of the kids, feed him lunch, and help out with jobs requiring no great skill. Things like painting base boards and calling out, "Yes, the lights are out" so he wouldn't get electrocuted. Now my "guy" isn't interested in doing plumbing and such so I have to look around for others. In the past finding guys has been difficult.  You call and call and they never call you back.  Then once they've deigned to take the job, they start and stop and start and stop until you just want to fire them and call someone else. Of course "someone else" won't be any better, so you just smile through your gritted your teeth and try to be friendly so they will finish and GET OUT!


New experience this time around.  I called three tile setters and all three called me back the SAME DAY! I can't believe it.  In four days I've gotten 3 tile estimates and am expecting a plumbing estimate by email any time! Wow! One day a tile setter and a plumber were here at the same time to give me estimates. They knew each other so it was a veritable party.


It's the economy of course, but I love being an actual customer someone is eager to please. I feel like I'm in charge for a change.  Usually I feel like I'm an annoyance and the contractors are in charge. My job interrupts their lives and is not too important. Someone else's job always takes precedence.


I don't know if this great attitude will continue once we give one of them job, but I'm hopeful. I am sorry that the economy is lousy, but I'm lovin' my little piece of remodel heaven.

Monday, August 15, 2011

Friend: A person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection. Not a relative.

That seems like a fairly simple definition of a friend.  Friendship is the state of being friends or having a bond of mutual affection with another person. As children our friendships develop from proximity. Mostly we make friends with kids at school or in our neighborhood. As long as the other kid shares and doesn't beat on us we pretty much like everyone. Then comes middle school, hell on earth for most kids. We have to be careful who we're friends with or other cooler kids won't be friends with us. Rumors and gossip can leave us friendless and sitting alone at the lunch table. A seemingly endless social death. It's a special hell reserved for 12 and 13 year olds.

High school is only a little better. It's possible to find a group to hang with and spend all of high school with the same kids. It's great if you're an athlete, musician, or super student because your group is ready made.  You are simply friends with all the other runners or band geeks or math geniuses. It's tougher if you haven't got any extra-curricular activities but usually you're still able to find at least a couple of friends with whom to connect.

I personally longed for the day when I would be an adult and having friends would no longer depend on what I wore or how I looked. At least that was the way I looked at it at 17 when I had few friends and was definitely not part of the cool crowd. It proved to be true. Beginning in college my friendships have been based on mutual interests, common experiences, and similar values. In adulthood there are no "cool kids". And if there are, I don't care.  Now I'm more concerned with who I like rather than who likes me. I think that's a much better place to be.

Still, adult friendships can run into hazards.  Some take a dive into rough water due to changing circumstances and end with acrimony on one or both sides. Some ebb and flow depending on life events like new jobs, moves, and children. But all friendships need to be nurtured. Failing to stay in touch, depending on the other person to make all the overtures, or harboring feelings of envy or jealousy can end a perfectly good friendship. But still, why should we care if friends fall by the wayside? Just make new ones, right?

 We care because it's wonderful to have long time friends with whom you have shared vacations, child rearing and celebrations. You have a shared history almost like family.  You laugh together about the dumb things you or your kids do. They won't pass judgment on either you, your kid or your parenting skills. After all, you've been in some of life's trenches together. You remember times spent together and congratulate and encourage each other as you face new challenges.  So when long time friendships begin to crumble it leaves a gap not only in your social life but in your emotional life as well.

When friends you've had for ages start to pull away, the gap takes time to fill.  It also takes some planning if your social calendar isn't already packed. Where can I meet new people? Join a group? Take a class? Stand on the corner with a sign that reads: Will work for friends?  It's a very real problem.

All studies show that people with a stable social network live longer healthier lives. That I believe. What would I do without  my friend that calls and forces me out the door to exercise especially when I don't want to go?  Or my other friend with whom I have Skype dates so we can talk about the next phase of our lives and tell each other how great we are?  I can't forget my young friend and colleague who treats me as if I were also young and hip and lets me share in the joys of having a 2 year old. There are other friends we see infrequently due to distance, but we always pick up where we left off sharing vacation stories, political views and of course news about our offspring.  I have a brave and dear friend who tells me she loves me when she calls and makes my day brilliant and special.

So my unsolicited advice, which as one friend told me "is as good as what you paid for it", is, appreciate  your friends, you'll be healthier, happier and live longer.  And who doesn't want that?






Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Prey for Dogs

The gardener is here today putting in some plants. It's quite a production with hoses and mowers and shovels and blowers. Quite a few guys working in the backyard too. Busy and noisy. This is not a good day for the Big Dog or the LWD.  They hate the gardeners with their loud machines.  And, they aren't at all tolerant of strange people walking around and leaving unusual smells in THEIR backyard. They're territorial beasts and they like it that way.


Today the Big Dog is especially keen to have them for lunch, although the LWD would love a chunk of their ankles as an appetizer. When the gardeners arrived I was out in back trying to play ball with the Big Dog.  He'd completely soaked the tennis ball with slobber so I was trying to wipe it off.  The gate started to open and he went into attack mode.  This is actually rather interesting to watch.  He barks loudly and deeply, gets wide and low on his haunches and prepares to launch himself at his prey.  And, he's fast.  One minute I was wiping the ball and the next second he was at the gate in full attack mode. 


This behavior provoked the LWD into a frenzy of barking so both dogs were making a huge racket.  I contributed to the madness yelling, "Duke, Duke, No! Get over here!" Did he pay attention to me? Did either of them pay attention to me? No, they have gone deaf. The sound and smell of prey has activated their primal, reptilian brains and they're killers now. Bloodlust has overcome them.  Until....I grab the Big Dog's shock collar and pull hard while he barks, a shock for him! But we haven't gone too far before he pulls away, 'cause he is 90 pounds of solid muscle. I have to go after him again to drag him slobbering into the house. Ok he's in. Now for the little terrorist. There's no grabbing him he's too small and too fast but he's also a first class coward and finally heads for the slider. I scoot him in and go back to give the O.K. to the gardeners to come into the yard.


I return breathless to the house where the dogs are running around the family room barking and slobbering. The Big Dog goes to his bed after only a few commands and sits alertly waiting for any breach in security. The LWD is not well trained and won't sit down and be still.  All is well until the mower starts up. Up springs the Big Dog, lunging at the glass and barking like Cujo on a really bad day. Of course the LWD follows suit 'cause he just loves a good barkfest. Again, I yell at the Big Dog to go to "bed". Eventually I have to get up and grab his collar and make him go to his bed.  This same insanity happens four or five times before the guys finish. I can't figure out who's getting the best of whom in this situation. Gardeners, I think.


Thank god the guys are gone now. My carpet is spotted with wet slobber and I'm a wreck. The Boy will tell me I should have put the Big Dog in the garage but I couldn't get him in there and the LWD knows when he's being locked in the garage and runs away, hiding in the furthest corner of his kennel. No way am I going  to get down on the concrete and crawl in the kennel to get the little monster out. 


Good news is the yard looks great and it took them 30 minutes to do a job we'd be doing for days. But now I need a glass of wine, a hammock, and a day at the spa. Whew!


P.S. Any errors are mine and I'm sure I'll find them right after I post this.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

The Big Dog

Sometimes I need a dog sitter and sometimes I am one. I'd rather need one than be one.  If I need one that means I'm going on a trip.  However, if I have to be one that means I'm staying home and dealing with two dogs instead of one. Now the dog owner I sit for will probably have some feelings about this post but I hope his owner, aka The Boy will take it in the spirit it which it was written.

We only sit for one dog, alias, The Big Dog. This is a great dog, very sweet, and good-looking.  He's about 90 pounds of solid muscle, very lean.  He's a short-haired brown and black brindle with a big white spot on his chest.  His ears are floppy and soft and his nose is big and black and wet. The Big Dog has a tail that clears tables and makes my little white dog (LWD) squint trying to avoid getting smacked in the eyes with it.

The Boy's dog is a hound.  Everyone has seen bloodhounds and The Big Dog doesn't look at all like that. But, and on this be very clear, he has some jowls goin' on. As you might guess those jowls come with some dog saliva.  Now this is some serious slobber. When he shakes his head he can wrap it around his snout one, two, even three times. Other times it hangs almost to the ground without breaking. We've found it everywhere in the house, even on the ceiling.  There must be a use for such viscous stuff. I just don't know what it might be.

The Big Dog has some very special qualities. Although he'll leap into a tree and grab a possum or confront three hissing raccoons, he's really a delicate flower requiring special food and cushy pads upon which to rest his bony butt. Concrete is not for him.  Softies that we are, we have a big bed in the yard so he can sleep in the sun during the day. He doesn't like to be cold or hot. We have another dog bed in the garage so he can sleep in comfort and not chase after wildlife all night.  Usually, we drag the garage bed into the house and place it on a clean sheet so he can be in the house in the evenings. It's not as convenient as it sounds. These are not small dog beds. This dog and his bed take up a large corner of my family room.  We make him stay on the bed in the house because frankly we don't like the feel of slobber on our bare feet and without a recent bath he's oily.  All of this for a dog who doesn't live here.  Well, not most of the time anyway.

He's here now sleeping peacefully on a brand new cedar scented bed in the family room.  We finally broke down and went to Costco and got him a new bed for use only in the house  so we don't have to drag the garage bed in and out. We just need a storage unit to stash the bed in when The Big Dog isn't here.

 Problem number two: this time The Boy brought him without bathing him first. This is one stinky dog. He reeks, no joke.  All that slobber flying around landing everywhere, it stinks.  But really? No bath? He dropped off him smelly and oily? Yep, he did.

Since The Big Dog will be here for a few days while the The Boy is backpacking I was forced to either wash him or put him on Craig's List. Wanting to continue living, my next instinct was to take him to the self car wash and really clean him up, but then I'd have to load him into my car. I... don't.... think.... so. Second choice: I tied him to a railing in the back yard and turned on the hose. Like most dogs, his hair repels water so it takes some doing to wet him down especially while he tries to shake it off.  Then there's the shampooing.  He had to have his nose and ears washed of slobber and those aren't areas he enjoys having hosed down.  But I was determined to be the winner in this battle even if I got as wet as he did.  Victory was mine of course.  I soaped up The Big Dog twice, rubbed him down with clean towels and he now looks and smells as good as any hound ever did.

For the next three or four days we'll be wiping his mouth before he comes in the house, giving him his thyroid medicine twice a day and listening to him snore over the noise of the TV. And after his bath
today we won't even have to hold our noses.
Dog with Bed

The Big Dog and the LWD

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Austria: Victim or Perpetrator

World War II is never far from your mind as you travel through Germany and Austria. Switzerland just keeps its mouth shut about the war, after all they were neutral, or so they say.  On our trip we began our orientation in each city with a walking tour led by an experienced guide. The guide pointed out significant architecture and historical places while giving a brief history of the area.  One thing became very clear. Many  buildings of historical value have been restored or rebuilt after suffering damage during the war.  Either incendiary or explosive bombs were responsible for the damage.  Most of the guides offered no opinion about the bombing but mentioned it as a fact explaining the condition and age of the buildings today.

However, in Salzburg, Austria our guide used the word "sadly" to describe the destruction of parts of the city. She went on to explain that the bombs sometimes (probably frequently) missed their targets and landed on civilian structures.  Frankly, I was more than a little angered by her attitude. Austria was a participating member of the Axis powers. As we learned during our trip to the Mauthausen camp there were more than 43 concentration camps in Austria during the war! The bombing of Austria was a natural consequence of their cooperation with the Nazis.

Our Viennese guide Wolfgang tried to explain the differences between German and Austrian attitudes about the war.  Germany long ago accepted its responsibility for the atrocities committed by its leaders and citizens. For the most part the national "psyche", if you will, does not wrap itself in the cloak of a victim but acknowledges itself as the perpetrator. Not so, Austria.

 Austria still sees itself as a victim despite the fact that in March 1938 they were absorbed into Hitler's Third Reich after a plebiscite in which 99% voted in favor of joining Germany.  Hitler was greeted in Vienna with delirious applause. Tellingly, Austrians were over-represented in the Gestapo and terror organizations generally.  Still,  despite its plethora of concentration camps and participation in Nazi terror campaigns, Austria continues to see itself as a victim of the war rather than a willing and even zealous participant.

Forgive me if I don't feel sad about the bombings Austrians suffered.  As the guide spoke I couldn't help but think that yes war is terrible, but as an important part of the terror campaigns of the Third Reich, Austria richly deserved their share of the bombings. It is sad that bombs missed their military targets and hit civilians but let's not forget the carpet bombing of London which was a deliberate attempt to obliterate an entire city.

It's long past time for Austria, as a nation, to "man up" and accept its responsibility for the atrocities committed within its borders.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

All Things Mozart

Traveling in Austria, one of the first things you notice is the Austrian love affair with Wolfgang Mozart.  He is their creation, their favorite son, their mascot if you will. While we were in Salzburg, the city was busy preparing for the yearly Mozart Festival. A giant stage was set up along with bleachers and seats for the outdoor concerts. I was glad to miss the festival since the city was already jammed with more tourists than I cared for.  


Interestingly, although Mozart was born in Salzburg,  he received little support from its residents when he was alive. He lived most of his life in Vienna where he was appreciated and found work. Nonetheless, the city of Salzburg takes credit for him today and celebrates his work with a festival every year. In the spirit of today one can buy all things Mozart.  There are Mozart chocolates for sale nearly everywhere.  I bought a Mozart umbrella one day as it started to rain and I was without one. Unfortunately it broke the next day. Eight euros down the tube. Mozart scarves, plates, busts, you name it you can buy it with a Mozart motif.


We learned a lot about Mozart's life and death while in Austria. The seminal American movie "Amadeus" was dramatic but factually incorrect in several ways. One of the most interesting things the movie got wrong about him was his death.  He did not die a pauper as the movie asserts.  In the time of Mozart, as now, space was at a premium and most people were buried in a grave containing more than one person. In fact a coffin was invented that hinged and opened at the bottom.  A cart with the coffin was driven over the open grave and the bottom opened to release the body into the ground. It was a common practice and did not indicate the deceased was poor.  Later, some remains from what was purported to be Mozart's grave were moved and buried elsewhere to memorialize him. Were they his? Probably not.


Despite all the Mozart kitsch available in Salzburg there is a wonderful "show" that recreates Mozart's music and time.  In a restaurant dating back to 803 A.D. you can dine on recipes from the period and listen to pieces from his operas by candlelight. Yes, 803.  There is documentation that the emperor Constantine ate at this site in 803. Today the restaurant has a large room decorated with large candelabras, period wallpaper, a large overhead dome, and dining tables draped with white linens. Once the guests are seated, the electric lights dim so only candles light the room and the musicians, in period costume, begin to play. Appearing from the back, two singers, a soprano and a tenor, also in period dress begin to sing and come forward to join the musicians.  Between meal courses the singers perform snippets from 3 or 4 of Mozart's operas.  With the room lit only by candlelight and filled with music and song you are transported from modern Salzburg to another  place and time. Here, the genius of Mozart comes alive at last.

Monday, August 1, 2011

Poking Along the Freeway

Picture this: you're driving down the freeway, there's no traffic, all the other cars are moving along at a good speed. You find yourself getting closer and closer to the car ahead of you and finally having to slow down to avoid running over it. This driver apparently is out for a Sunday drive on a country lane.  His or her driver's side window is open, an elbow resting on the open door frame.  The driver's hair is blowing in the wind and apparently he or she never looks in their rear view mirror or he/she would notice the cars backing up behind him/her.  Several cars move out of that lane and speed around the pokey driver.  You can't move yet because everyone behind you pulls out first.  Apparently Pokey also has blinders on and doesn't see cars speeding by on the right and left. So you have to sit there poking along until a break in the traffic at which point you swerve out, put the pedal to the metal and burn rubber passing the obnoxious driver. You look over to see what kind of fool is behind the wheel but only get a look at the profile of the squinting driver.


Why do drivers act this way? Are they just inconsiderate?  Are they oblivious to the world around them and therefore shouldn't be on the road? Maybe they're just plain stupid as the men in my family would contend. 


Consider this: these drivers decide for some odd reason to drive with their window down and driving with an open window makes it SEEM like you're going really fast. You're not.  All that wind blowing past your ears makes you feel like a real speed demon. But in point of fact going 40 mph feels fast with the window down. Moreover, the noise and wind are apparently so distracting that these drivers fail to look in their mirrors or check their speedometers. They are certain that they are going even faster than the speed limit and since they can't hear other cars passing them they never speed up.


Which brings us to the question of why drive around with open windows? Some may not have air conditioning which is a perfectly rational reason for rolling down your windows. I've got no problem with that except the driver still needs to check the speedometer. However, some drivers are convinced, erroneously, that using the air conditioning reduces your gas mileage.  No, the extra drag caused by the open window reduces your mpg. And there are some I imagine who just like the fresh air. Really, how fresh is the air blowing into your car on the freeway? I guess these people just like to suck up exhaust fumes as they drive.


The conclusion I draw here is that aside from cars with broken AC, I'm going with the men in my family: drivers who drive with the windows down on the freeway are just plain stupid because the other reasons for open windows are just ridiculous. 


Next time you're stuck behind a slow poke on the freeway check to see if the windows are down. Then pass that car ASAP. He's not going to speed up, he already thinks he drives like the wind.