'Tis the Season

Those of you who are offended by decoration critiques should read no further. 'Tis the season to be tacky, really tacky. It wasn't always this ridiculous.  When I was growing up most houses had a set of multi-colored lights strung up on the eaves of the house.  A few threw caution to the winds and added some yard reindeer or a Santa. But mostly it was just lights.  Some of the lights were low enough for young hoodlums to unscrew and throw up into the air delighting at the popping noise and the shattered bulb in the street. I'm not admitting to anything but I saw it done.

When my kids were little we'd take one night and drive to the neighborhood that had every house decorated to the rafters.  Besides lights on the eaves, they were hung in branches, wrapped around tree trunks, and draped in shrubbery. Santa with a full complement of reindeer landed on roofs or in front yards.  Some yards sported Santa's workshop complete with elves and snow.  Those nights we were part of a slow parade of cars cruising the streets oohing and aahing at the fantasy and glitter.

Let's fast forward to 2011.  I drive to work in the morning and see a holiday green inflatable Santa train (I know Santa doesn't drive a train but I didn't design the thing) in a local yard.  Most mornings though poor Santa and his choo choo are a wad of green nylon melted onto the lawn. As the season wears on, more and more inflatable Santas, reindeer, sleds, and even snowmen appear on lawns. In their deflated state these caricatures of traditional symbols are but sad puddles, unidentifiable to the passerby.  Unlike lights which disappear in the daylight these cheesy balloon characters spend their days putting the ugly on the house they "decorate".

These are cheap (maybe not inexpensive, I don't know) and dirty decorations.  They take no time to put up or take down. Little thought or effort is required for  their installation. No one thinks about aesthetics when putting one up. Just plug the guy in and up he goes. Instant Christmas or instant Halloween if you like. Worst of all is how really ugly they are.  There's not a classy one out there. They look like bad cartoons when they're up and trash when they're down.

The argument that kids love them and Christmas is for kids just doesn't fly. Kids love lots of things they shouldn't have and parents have been known to say, "Absolutely not!" We loved stealing bulbs and tossing them into the street but I doubt any parent would take their kids out to do that!

The blight cast on neighborhoods by these tacky "decorations" is sad. Perfectly presentable homes fronted by lush lawns and blooming shrubs  instantly become showcases of quick and dirty decor advertising the owners' lack of taste and class. Eye candy it's not.

I have to come clean and admit this comes from a woman who will do almost anything to avoid hauling out Christmas decorations. I have spent Christmas in Costa Rica and am planning a mountain Christmas to avoid the chore. It's not that I don't love the signs of the season, I do. But after years of hauling dusty boxes down from the rafters I just got tired of the process. Now I'm happy enjoying other people's decorations, unless of course the decor includes those, those....THINGS!