I've been reading and scanning a book called How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free. No I'm not old enough to retire but life transitions can be difficult and stressful even when they're planned so I want to be prepared. Think about the stress of buying your first house, having your first baby, and getting a new job. These life events are full of promise but are some of life's top stressors nonetheless.
I thought I'd take the bull by the horns and see what I could do to make the transition to not working (yippee) easier and more successful. Firstly, the amount of money one has accrued is not the single most important part of being happily not working. In fact, according to the book, you need much less money than you think you do, so retire ASAP. The author says you need to do something meaningful, have a good circle of friends and exercise. I can agree with all of that. He advocates planning between one and two hours a day of vigorous exercise. That will give structure to your days, keep you slim, and ensure good health. He goes on to give examples of people in their nineties who are still vigorous and active.
And by vigorous exercise he means things like running and swimming. No walking around the neighborhood with Fido or soothing yoga practice. You've got to get out there and run for an hour! Well really, I'm all for exercise (especially if someone else is doing it) but like many authors giving advice on how to live well, he spends a huge amount of time on exercise. I know it's important but the reality is it won't get you out of this life alive. You can exercise for hours every day and the end will still find you.
In our society, we don't do death. Death is an aberration, the result of bad habits or crime or bad luck. There are books upon books and celebrity doctors galore giving us advice on what to eat, what to think (positive attitude), and how much exercise we need. They seem to be saying, "If you just follow our advice you can live forever." I have news for them no matter how perfectly you treat your body and how positive your outlook you are still going to die. In fact you might even get a serious illness like cancer. Broccoli and exercise won't cure or prevent serious illness. Even scarier for some, recent studies have found no link between having a positive attitude and cancer outcomes. In other words you can be the most positive, sunny person in the world and the big C can still get you. On the flip side you can be a depressed pessimist and still recover from cancer. That makes me feel much better because I'm naturally a "glass half empty" kind of person and have been all my life. I hate to think that I'd succumb to a disease simply because of how I'm wired.
What does all this talk of exercise and death have to do with retirement? Maybe nothing but maybe I don't want to spend so much of my retirement chasing the impossible dream of eternal life. I do of course want to be healthy until I drop dead, preferably in the middle of a good book. Life is certainly more fun when you're healthy and vigorous. But structuring my non-working days around EXERCISE sounds suspiciously like A JOB. Having flexible time will be the greatest part of retiring, I'm not going to mess it up with a strict exercise routine. I'm done with routine, give me spontaneous and I might even see the glass as half full.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Friday, May 27, 2011
Blogging for Dummies
So, I started this blog for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is to encourage myself to write on a regular basis. In the course of setting up the blog and finding out about blogging I've discovered some interesting features. If you are young you already know about these features because you read blogs. Honestly, I never read one until I created this one. I really should find one or two that interest me just to see what's out there.
But I did find out a couple of interesting things. Did you know I can add advertisements to the sidebar of my blog and make a few cents? Really, I could advertise diet aids, other websites and entertainment. But, yuck, I hate advertising and can't imagine promoting more of it. Of course there is the money.... No, no ads.
I could also set up a PayPal icon and readers could "donate" to my blog. I can already hear you laughing. Believe me, I laughed just as hard. But really that's what it's called, "donate". Am I a charity? Am I trying to raise money for a cause? Maybe, I'd certainly like to retire soon. Would you like to help me do that? That's what I thought, no effing way!
So I have no videos, pictures, or music as many blogs do. I have no links to other sites (like what?). There's just me and my musings. Words, words, and more words. That's all folks!
But I did find out a couple of interesting things. Did you know I can add advertisements to the sidebar of my blog and make a few cents? Really, I could advertise diet aids, other websites and entertainment. But, yuck, I hate advertising and can't imagine promoting more of it. Of course there is the money.... No, no ads.
I could also set up a PayPal icon and readers could "donate" to my blog. I can already hear you laughing. Believe me, I laughed just as hard. But really that's what it's called, "donate". Am I a charity? Am I trying to raise money for a cause? Maybe, I'd certainly like to retire soon. Would you like to help me do that? That's what I thought, no effing way!
So I have no videos, pictures, or music as many blogs do. I have no links to other sites (like what?). There's just me and my musings. Words, words, and more words. That's all folks!
Mothers
Mother. The word conjures up all sorts of meanings and emotions depending on who your mother was or is, and if you are a mother. I've met lots of mothers in private life and in my job. The ones in my private life were, no surprise, a lot like me. We were anxious to do a good job which meant raising well-loved, secure, and independent children. We encouraged our progeny to do well, behave, and absorb our values. Our children lacked for nothing in the realm of parental attention and support. Some mothers and fathers ran themselves ragged with children's activities. We were and still are our children's biggest fans and most loyal supporters.
For most of my life I've thought that mothers by their very nature were like mine, nurturing with unconditional love and endless support. But in the course of meeting many mothers over the last 17 years I've come to realize that the idea of "mother" that I carried around with me was too narrow a description. I haven't met any mothers that didn't appear to love their child no matter his/her shortcomings, but the way mothers show love varies from person to person and culture to culture.
There are mothers who smother their children, continuing to spoon feed them lunch at school at the age of 8. Mothers who deliver homework to irresponsible children failing to teach them that actions have consequences. Then there are mothers who berate their child for bad behavior in front of others but fail to act and correct the behavior. Strange as it may seem there are mothers and fathers who have ceded control of their family to their child and cannot figure out how to regain their standing as "parents-in-charge." Some mothers require their children to work as if they were going to Harvard next year, leaving only Sunday as a day without academic instruction. As awful as it sounds to me there are mothers and fathers who never take their children out of their neighborhood. Parents who fail utterly to provide their children with new life experiences. Other mothers fight for their children as if they are the only children who count selfishly regarding other children as expendable and unimportant.
When women talk about their own mothers I have discovered that other women have mothers as unlike mine as they could possibly be. Women whose mothers were hyper-critical so that no matter what they did it was never enough for mom. I've met women whose mothers were self-absorbed and neglectful or consciously hurtful. Others had mothers whom they loved but with whom they did not enjoy a particularly close relationship.
Lots of mothers strive to be unlike their own mothers which I find very sad. Not that they want to be good mothers but that they felt "unmothered" in some deep part of themselves. That in some deep part of themselves they didn't feel unconditional love and acceptance from the one person who is supposed to love you most no matter what.
To my own mother, gone almost 20 years now, I owe a profound debt of gratitude. She loved her children unconditionally and showed it every day. We were lucky to have had such love and emotional intimacy from our mother who loved us best of all.
For most of my life I've thought that mothers by their very nature were like mine, nurturing with unconditional love and endless support. But in the course of meeting many mothers over the last 17 years I've come to realize that the idea of "mother" that I carried around with me was too narrow a description. I haven't met any mothers that didn't appear to love their child no matter his/her shortcomings, but the way mothers show love varies from person to person and culture to culture.
There are mothers who smother their children, continuing to spoon feed them lunch at school at the age of 8. Mothers who deliver homework to irresponsible children failing to teach them that actions have consequences. Then there are mothers who berate their child for bad behavior in front of others but fail to act and correct the behavior. Strange as it may seem there are mothers and fathers who have ceded control of their family to their child and cannot figure out how to regain their standing as "parents-in-charge." Some mothers require their children to work as if they were going to Harvard next year, leaving only Sunday as a day without academic instruction. As awful as it sounds to me there are mothers and fathers who never take their children out of their neighborhood. Parents who fail utterly to provide their children with new life experiences. Other mothers fight for their children as if they are the only children who count selfishly regarding other children as expendable and unimportant.
When women talk about their own mothers I have discovered that other women have mothers as unlike mine as they could possibly be. Women whose mothers were hyper-critical so that no matter what they did it was never enough for mom. I've met women whose mothers were self-absorbed and neglectful or consciously hurtful. Others had mothers whom they loved but with whom they did not enjoy a particularly close relationship.
Lots of mothers strive to be unlike their own mothers which I find very sad. Not that they want to be good mothers but that they felt "unmothered" in some deep part of themselves. That in some deep part of themselves they didn't feel unconditional love and acceptance from the one person who is supposed to love you most no matter what.
To my own mother, gone almost 20 years now, I owe a profound debt of gratitude. She loved her children unconditionally and showed it every day. We were lucky to have had such love and emotional intimacy from our mother who loved us best of all.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Mismanaged Care
Years ago I belonged to an HMO and had a good experience. Of course that HMO no longer exists so maybe they were doing such a great job of patient care the company went under. Since then I have had no experience with HMO's but I know someone who has.
Today you must see your primary physician whom you select from a list without knowing anything about him or her. Okay, now you've got a doctor but you KNOW you need a referral to two specialists. You are intelligent and knowledgeable about your own health and have seen specialists previously under a different health care plan. So you leave work and trot yourself down to the primary doc. The primary doctor is very candid and admits she doesn't know anything about your problems and doesn't appear to be concerned about them. But she can't give you a referral until you've tried some over-the-counter remedies. Furthermore her limited advice about your condition is insulting and presumes you are ignorant about basic health care. So you will have to try the OTC remedy and go back in a couple of weeks to get a referral to the specialist. Of course you will have to take off work again and see the primary before getting the referral. She has to make sure the OTC medicine didn't work.
To summarize: in order to save money in this system you will have seen the primary doctor twice before getting the referral. You will also be missing hours at work, and that very same company that provided you with such wonderful health care docks you for going to the doctor. If you had just been allowed to make that specialist appointment yourself, you would have avoided the expense of two useless appointments.
But that would be too rational and keeping costs down is not really what managed care does. At least I can't see how adding two extra doctor visits is efficient. Nor does it protect patient health. While you wait for OTC medicine to work, your condition gets worse and your health declines. Now you need a specialist in a hurry. Can you see an HMO physician if you need one right away? I don't know the answer to that and hope I don't have to find out the answer.
Today you must see your primary physician whom you select from a list without knowing anything about him or her. Okay, now you've got a doctor but you KNOW you need a referral to two specialists. You are intelligent and knowledgeable about your own health and have seen specialists previously under a different health care plan. So you leave work and trot yourself down to the primary doc. The primary doctor is very candid and admits she doesn't know anything about your problems and doesn't appear to be concerned about them. But she can't give you a referral until you've tried some over-the-counter remedies. Furthermore her limited advice about your condition is insulting and presumes you are ignorant about basic health care. So you will have to try the OTC remedy and go back in a couple of weeks to get a referral to the specialist. Of course you will have to take off work again and see the primary before getting the referral. She has to make sure the OTC medicine didn't work.
To summarize: in order to save money in this system you will have seen the primary doctor twice before getting the referral. You will also be missing hours at work, and that very same company that provided you with such wonderful health care docks you for going to the doctor. If you had just been allowed to make that specialist appointment yourself, you would have avoided the expense of two useless appointments.
But that would be too rational and keeping costs down is not really what managed care does. At least I can't see how adding two extra doctor visits is efficient. Nor does it protect patient health. While you wait for OTC medicine to work, your condition gets worse and your health declines. Now you need a specialist in a hurry. Can you see an HMO physician if you need one right away? I don't know the answer to that and hope I don't have to find out the answer.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Fruit and nuts
California's finally back to its usual self so we natives can breathe a sigh of relief. Jerry Brown is governor again, the outgoing movie star governor admits to fathering a "love child" and some San Franciscans have taken the initiative process to a new low.
Who can believe that Jerry Brown is governor again? It's not necessarily a bad thing, that's yet to be determined. Unfortunately he looks like a lot of us look now, older, less hair, and needing little things removed from our California skin. He really shows our age.
And Arnold, there's got to be some space for the governator. The media is calling his 5th child a "love child". Have you seen the mother? I think it's more like an "oops, I had too much to drink child". Catty, but true especially when you consider that he could have had Maria Shriver instead. He's been a sleaze from the very beginning and I'll bet Maria is kicking herself for being such a schmuck and standing by while he's groped his way through Hollywood and beyond.
Who or what can beat San Francisco, the city that's stranger than fiction? Somehow, a group that calls itself, "intactivists" managed to get 12,000 signatures (outside Wal-Mart no doubt) to put an initiative on the ballot making it illegal to circumcise boys/men under 18 years of age. Are they serious? Yes they are, but what they don't seem to understand is that even a new law can't restore what urologists and rabbis have put asunder. They need therapy not a new law. Of course this initiative, were it to pass, is unconstitutional as it violates religious freedoms as well as common sense.
So, welcome back California, you're still the land of fruits and nuts!
Who can believe that Jerry Brown is governor again? It's not necessarily a bad thing, that's yet to be determined. Unfortunately he looks like a lot of us look now, older, less hair, and needing little things removed from our California skin. He really shows our age.
And Arnold, there's got to be some space for the governator. The media is calling his 5th child a "love child". Have you seen the mother? I think it's more like an "oops, I had too much to drink child". Catty, but true especially when you consider that he could have had Maria Shriver instead. He's been a sleaze from the very beginning and I'll bet Maria is kicking herself for being such a schmuck and standing by while he's groped his way through Hollywood and beyond.
Who or what can beat San Francisco, the city that's stranger than fiction? Somehow, a group that calls itself, "intactivists" managed to get 12,000 signatures (outside Wal-Mart no doubt) to put an initiative on the ballot making it illegal to circumcise boys/men under 18 years of age. Are they serious? Yes they are, but what they don't seem to understand is that even a new law can't restore what urologists and rabbis have put asunder. They need therapy not a new law. Of course this initiative, were it to pass, is unconstitutional as it violates religious freedoms as well as common sense.
So, welcome back California, you're still the land of fruits and nuts!
Hearing Voices
I am a Law and Order junkie. I like the mystery but I also like the neat wrap up of most of the shows. On the other hand sometimes the story lines are so unreal as to be dangerous. Dangerous in that uninformed people take the characters and situations portrayed as not only possible but probable. The episode I watched the other night was dangerous in that regard. It involved a schizophrenic arrested for murdering 7 people under the delusion that one of them had his nonexistent daughter. The state put the man away for life while letting him appear in court unmedicated and delusional despite a ten years old diagnosis and history of schizophrenia.
This kind of blatant misinformation about mental illness is common in both TV and film. It contributes to the fear and lack of care and services available to the mentally ill. Writers will say everyone knows it's just fiction but everyone doesn't know. In point of fact few people know anything about severe mental illness. People with mental illness are stigmatized as dangerous and undeserving of care in part because of their portrayal in the media.
Years ago, a cousin of mine married a lovely young woman in her early twenties. On their honeymoon she experienced the first symptoms of schizophrenia. In those days medication was in its infancy and doctors posited that she suffered from a niacin deficiency. I was pretty young but I did know that she had to be monitored because she burned herself with cigarettes. On purpose. She also hurt herself in other ways and the drugs she took impaired her thinking and memory. The last time I saw her she didn't know who I was. My cousin eventually divorced her and she went back to live with her parents. I don't know whatever happened to her.
Schizophrenics are far more dangerous to themselves than others. They forget to eat and sleep. They lack any sense of personal hygiene. The medication they have to take to keep the fears and voices quiet has unpleasant and sometimes devastating and permanent neurological side effects.
Recently I read the memoir of a woman who is now a professor at USC and also a schizophrenic. She was lucky in that her family had the means to provide hospitalization when she needed it and weekly talk therapy with a psychiatrist. However, like most mentally ill people, she would go off her meds thinking she wasn't ill and descend into a world of fear and delusions that incapacitated her. It took her years to accept the fact that she was chronically ill and would need medication and therapy for life. It's hard to overstate how lucky this woman was. She is extremely intelligent, has wonderful friends who do not scare easily, and a family willing to pay for her health care.
I should mention too that she didn't tell many people that she was schizophrenic. In fact until her book came out most of her colleagues at USC didn't know about her illness. Probably a good thing since most people, even educated people, associate schizophrenia with crime and homelessness.
We think insane people commit the most heinous crimes but usually they are not crazy in the "hearing voices" kind of crazy but rather are seriously emotionally disturbed due to childhood neglect and abuse. Or there just happens to be a weapon around when they get seriously angry and they turn into criminals.
I think TV and film writers have an obligation to portray the mentally ill in a compassionate light. I imagine they could come up with story lines just as interesting but without the ignorant stereotyping.
This kind of blatant misinformation about mental illness is common in both TV and film. It contributes to the fear and lack of care and services available to the mentally ill. Writers will say everyone knows it's just fiction but everyone doesn't know. In point of fact few people know anything about severe mental illness. People with mental illness are stigmatized as dangerous and undeserving of care in part because of their portrayal in the media.
Years ago, a cousin of mine married a lovely young woman in her early twenties. On their honeymoon she experienced the first symptoms of schizophrenia. In those days medication was in its infancy and doctors posited that she suffered from a niacin deficiency. I was pretty young but I did know that she had to be monitored because she burned herself with cigarettes. On purpose. She also hurt herself in other ways and the drugs she took impaired her thinking and memory. The last time I saw her she didn't know who I was. My cousin eventually divorced her and she went back to live with her parents. I don't know whatever happened to her.
Schizophrenics are far more dangerous to themselves than others. They forget to eat and sleep. They lack any sense of personal hygiene. The medication they have to take to keep the fears and voices quiet has unpleasant and sometimes devastating and permanent neurological side effects.
Recently I read the memoir of a woman who is now a professor at USC and also a schizophrenic. She was lucky in that her family had the means to provide hospitalization when she needed it and weekly talk therapy with a psychiatrist. However, like most mentally ill people, she would go off her meds thinking she wasn't ill and descend into a world of fear and delusions that incapacitated her. It took her years to accept the fact that she was chronically ill and would need medication and therapy for life. It's hard to overstate how lucky this woman was. She is extremely intelligent, has wonderful friends who do not scare easily, and a family willing to pay for her health care.
I should mention too that she didn't tell many people that she was schizophrenic. In fact until her book came out most of her colleagues at USC didn't know about her illness. Probably a good thing since most people, even educated people, associate schizophrenia with crime and homelessness.
We think insane people commit the most heinous crimes but usually they are not crazy in the "hearing voices" kind of crazy but rather are seriously emotionally disturbed due to childhood neglect and abuse. Or there just happens to be a weapon around when they get seriously angry and they turn into criminals.
I think TV and film writers have an obligation to portray the mentally ill in a compassionate light. I imagine they could come up with story lines just as interesting but without the ignorant stereotyping.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Guess who's coming to work?
A colleague of mine noted that there is a lot of talk these days about budgets and saving jobs in education, specifically teacher's jobs, as if teachers are the only ones employed by schools. We're not! This week is Classified Week, when we honor those who work in schools as custodians, secretaries, librarians, computer lab aides, health aides, bilingual aides, special education aides, clerks, bus drivers, gardeners, painters, and maintenance personnel.
In fact, at my workplace, classified employees outnumber certificated employees (teachers) by a margin of 2 to 1. And no, none of them works in my room. There are 5 full or part-time employees in the office but only one of me in the classroom. Something is surely wrong with this picture.
So when we talk about money for education, don't forget about all the diverse and numerous people who operate schools. Remember schools aren't just for teachers!
In fact, at my workplace, classified employees outnumber certificated employees (teachers) by a margin of 2 to 1. And no, none of them works in my room. There are 5 full or part-time employees in the office but only one of me in the classroom. Something is surely wrong with this picture.
So when we talk about money for education, don't forget about all the diverse and numerous people who operate schools. Remember schools aren't just for teachers!
Too Cheap to Eat
Every day I drive almost the same route to work. And like most repetitive driving I rarely take a good look at my surroundings. Too busy singing along with whomever or listening to a good book. But the other day I noticed a store in a strip mall on my way to the freeway. The name of the store is "Grocery Outlet". Really, that's the whole name.
Here's my question: what is a grocery outlet? Do they sell food from last season? How about food that couldn't be sold in the big supermarkets? Maybe they sell foodstuffs that are the wrong color or size. Perhaps the food is past its expiration date but not really dangerous to eat. "Grocery Outlet" definitely does not give me a positive vibe.
Other retailers that traffic in last season's unwanted and unsold goods have names like "Marshalls", "Ross", or "Steinmart" so at least they sound like places you might like shop. Outlet malls even have names like "The Citadel". These malls list their designer stores to attach even more cache to shopping there.
But this "Grocery Outlet" has an odd green facade with no banners proudly proclaiming their brand name wares. No "Save on Kellogg's cereals" or "Ivory Soap for less". The passerby or driver by has no inkling of what lurks behind the dark glass. Frankly, I don't think I want to know.
Here's my question: what is a grocery outlet? Do they sell food from last season? How about food that couldn't be sold in the big supermarkets? Maybe they sell foodstuffs that are the wrong color or size. Perhaps the food is past its expiration date but not really dangerous to eat. "Grocery Outlet" definitely does not give me a positive vibe.
Other retailers that traffic in last season's unwanted and unsold goods have names like "Marshalls", "Ross", or "Steinmart" so at least they sound like places you might like shop. Outlet malls even have names like "The Citadel". These malls list their designer stores to attach even more cache to shopping there.
But this "Grocery Outlet" has an odd green facade with no banners proudly proclaiming their brand name wares. No "Save on Kellogg's cereals" or "Ivory Soap for less". The passerby or driver by has no inkling of what lurks behind the dark glass. Frankly, I don't think I want to know.
Friday, May 13, 2011
Adoption
So I recently (a week ago) decided to get another Pomeranian. My previous Pom died of old age at 15 a few years ago. Before he died however, he had some health issues just like old people do. He had Cushings disease which cost us a bundle in doggy dermatology bills and meds over his last 5 years. He also displaced a hip one day just laying on the floor (I can identify with that!) which cost about $800 to fix. By the time he had all these problems though he had been part of family since he was 8 weeks old. My daughter picked him out of the litter and he grew to be a whopping 17 pounds. Not the runt of the litter but also not a champion Pom either. Way too big for that.
This time I decided to contact a rescue organization. I had to fill out a long application about my house, my yard, and what hours I worked. They wanted to know who would watch the dog when I went on vacation, if I had a gardener or pool man, and if I had pool with a fence. Sorry, no fence but dogs can swim. It was more personal than a mortgage application or a rental application. But the picture looked adorable and her description said she was three or four years old. Perfect I thought. Not a puppy but not an elderly dog either.
The volunteer brought her from Riverside three days ago. She is adorable in life as well as online. The volunteer told me she had no cataracts, a benign mammary tumor and had just had her teeth cleaned. Lexi, the dog, not the volunteer, promptly made herself the alpha bitch pushing my other dog around like he was a toy. She marked the yard as her territory and made herself at home. Only problem is she has terrible breath and I'm not talking a little doggy breath here, I'm talking, I'll gag if I have to take another whiff of her breath. So, experienced dog owner that I am, I took her to my vet for a once over and a mouth check.
You're beginning to see what's coming aren't you. You try to do a good deed and even though it costs you a $300 "donation", even though you have to fill out paperwork as if adopting a child for god's sake, they lie to you. They think you'll fall for their lies or they think you'll fall for the dog and not care that they lied to you. Frankly, I don't know what they're thinking. At this point I only care that they lied and right to my face. Did I mention I was told she wasn't a barker? Guess what..she barks...a lot.
So my vet gave me the straight poop about this little pup. For one thing she's not a pup, she's old, about 10 years old. For another thing she does have cataracts. She also has severe periodontal disease which needs attention including cleaning and extractions. And that benign mammary tumor? My vet says it needs to come out because at least 50% of the time those tumors become malignant and it might malignant now. So we're talkin' $800-$900 to fix her mouth and take out the tumor. Who knows what other ailments are lurking just a year or two down the road? Obviously whoever had her before didn't take good care of her or her mouth wouldn't be so diseased so who knows what else could be wrong with her.
Of course now I'm in a quandary. After 3 days I quite like the little bitch but another $800? Seriously? No one would adopt a senior citizen with the possibility of heart disease, Alzheimer's, stroke, and arthritis right? People want to adopt babies or small children that tend to be healthier and live longer. Who wants to adopt someone who's going to die shortly? You might feel sorry for the old folks but you don't adopt the elderly even if they have no other family. It's expensive and you won't have them that long. So then you'll feel really bad when they pass away after you've gotten to know them. But you've known them for such a short time it'll piss you off because now you're in debt for their medical costs and damn it they're gone.
What to do? Can't win either way. If I return her I'm heartless and if I keep her she'll break my heart sooner rather than later.
This time I decided to contact a rescue organization. I had to fill out a long application about my house, my yard, and what hours I worked. They wanted to know who would watch the dog when I went on vacation, if I had a gardener or pool man, and if I had pool with a fence. Sorry, no fence but dogs can swim. It was more personal than a mortgage application or a rental application. But the picture looked adorable and her description said she was three or four years old. Perfect I thought. Not a puppy but not an elderly dog either.
The volunteer brought her from Riverside three days ago. She is adorable in life as well as online. The volunteer told me she had no cataracts, a benign mammary tumor and had just had her teeth cleaned. Lexi, the dog, not the volunteer, promptly made herself the alpha bitch pushing my other dog around like he was a toy. She marked the yard as her territory and made herself at home. Only problem is she has terrible breath and I'm not talking a little doggy breath here, I'm talking, I'll gag if I have to take another whiff of her breath. So, experienced dog owner that I am, I took her to my vet for a once over and a mouth check.
You're beginning to see what's coming aren't you. You try to do a good deed and even though it costs you a $300 "donation", even though you have to fill out paperwork as if adopting a child for god's sake, they lie to you. They think you'll fall for their lies or they think you'll fall for the dog and not care that they lied to you. Frankly, I don't know what they're thinking. At this point I only care that they lied and right to my face. Did I mention I was told she wasn't a barker? Guess what..she barks...a lot.
So my vet gave me the straight poop about this little pup. For one thing she's not a pup, she's old, about 10 years old. For another thing she does have cataracts. She also has severe periodontal disease which needs attention including cleaning and extractions. And that benign mammary tumor? My vet says it needs to come out because at least 50% of the time those tumors become malignant and it might malignant now. So we're talkin' $800-$900 to fix her mouth and take out the tumor. Who knows what other ailments are lurking just a year or two down the road? Obviously whoever had her before didn't take good care of her or her mouth wouldn't be so diseased so who knows what else could be wrong with her.
Of course now I'm in a quandary. After 3 days I quite like the little bitch but another $800? Seriously? No one would adopt a senior citizen with the possibility of heart disease, Alzheimer's, stroke, and arthritis right? People want to adopt babies or small children that tend to be healthier and live longer. Who wants to adopt someone who's going to die shortly? You might feel sorry for the old folks but you don't adopt the elderly even if they have no other family. It's expensive and you won't have them that long. So then you'll feel really bad when they pass away after you've gotten to know them. But you've known them for such a short time it'll piss you off because now you're in debt for their medical costs and damn it they're gone.
What to do? Can't win either way. If I return her I'm heartless and if I keep her she'll break my heart sooner rather than later.
Monday, May 9, 2011
What's for dinner?
Six a.m., the sleepy homeowner goes out to get the paper and arrgghh!! his yard has been ripped apart. Something or someone has come in the night and torn his lovely flowers out by the roots and discarded them like weeds! Who would do such a thing? Possums that's who! Those nighttime vandals roaming unprotected suburban yards scrounging for their dinner of snails, slugs and worms. I only wish they would eat the snails, but lately they're after my earthworms, the good guys in my garden.
Carefully we replant the begonias and tamp down the soil churned up by the vandals. Cruising the internet for solutions to the problem offers small hope. You could get yourself some coyote urine and spray it around. But you'd have to find a coyote to pee in a cup. Fat chance. You can grind hot pepper flakes and anything else that burns your tongue, put it in water and spray the ground. Great, we can do that. Done.
Next morning striding out to inspect our domain we are dumbfounded if not really pissed off to discover that the vandals apparently have a taste for hot sauce and once again have pulled the begonias out by the root ball. They must be Mexican possums liking Tabasco as much as they do.
Time for a serious solution. Stake the dog out in the yard and let him scare the rodents away! Nah, he'd just bark all night. Arsenic! Where do you get it? What would we do with the carcasses? So no not arsenic. But right now it sounds pretty good. Only good possum is a dead possum at this point.
So tonight we're trying a solution that worked with ducks in our pool. We're taking a children's blow up pool toy with a long neck and big black eyes and staking it near the plants to wave gently in the night breeze. The ducks were afraid of it and possums can't be much smarter than ducks can they?
Now I know vandal possums aren't an earth shattering problem but at least I have hope that there is one problem in the world I can solve, keeping my begonias alive. I don't have a hope in hell of solving any of the other problems in the world today. So keep your fingers crossed for my poor begonias. May they last through the night.
Carefully we replant the begonias and tamp down the soil churned up by the vandals. Cruising the internet for solutions to the problem offers small hope. You could get yourself some coyote urine and spray it around. But you'd have to find a coyote to pee in a cup. Fat chance. You can grind hot pepper flakes and anything else that burns your tongue, put it in water and spray the ground. Great, we can do that. Done.
Next morning striding out to inspect our domain we are dumbfounded if not really pissed off to discover that the vandals apparently have a taste for hot sauce and once again have pulled the begonias out by the root ball. They must be Mexican possums liking Tabasco as much as they do.
Time for a serious solution. Stake the dog out in the yard and let him scare the rodents away! Nah, he'd just bark all night. Arsenic! Where do you get it? What would we do with the carcasses? So no not arsenic. But right now it sounds pretty good. Only good possum is a dead possum at this point.
So tonight we're trying a solution that worked with ducks in our pool. We're taking a children's blow up pool toy with a long neck and big black eyes and staking it near the plants to wave gently in the night breeze. The ducks were afraid of it and possums can't be much smarter than ducks can they?
Now I know vandal possums aren't an earth shattering problem but at least I have hope that there is one problem in the world I can solve, keeping my begonias alive. I don't have a hope in hell of solving any of the other problems in the world today. So keep your fingers crossed for my poor begonias. May they last through the night.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Smell the coffee
http://www.karmatube.org/videos.php?id=2233
Recently a very good friend sent me this video created by a very sincere young man who wants to share his philosophy about how to get through life. It's called the 3 A's or something. Basically he says enjoy the small pleasures in life and have a positive attitude. What a revelation, right? So he created a blog, just like mine, which no one read, just like mine. However, eventually lots of people read his blog and he got a book deal whereupon he put all his blog posts in a book you can now buy everywhere. Bet he's feeling pretty good now, huh! Hell with that warm underwear, he's got a warm savings account.
So here's this rather ethnically diverse, sincere young man telling me that I should hang around 3 year olds (just random ones) and enjoy their view of the world, ('no, no, no, mine, mine, mine) and savor the good feeling of putting on underwear fresh out of the dryer. This will help us deal with life's problems and move forward. Did I forget to mention he was married briefly and his wife left him?
Well, I've had my own 3 year olds and yes being with them is like being a child again, but I'm not. I'm a big person with big person problems. And warm underwear does not help me or I would think most others deal with death, job loss, mental illness, cancer or any of a host of problems people have to deal with. Don't get me wrong, I love warm underwear, who doesn't? And I think a positive attitude is great and useful but really, the answer to life's complex problems? Not!
He can call me when his teenager gets pregnant or misses her curfew and he waits up watching the hours crawl by imagining all sorts of horrors. Call me when his mother dies of cancer or when his child is failing in school and wants to drop out and join the army. Call me when he has a couple of small children and loses his job after he just bought a brand new house. Call me and I'll tell him how sometimes life is just getting up every morning, putting one foot in front of the other, breathing, and having the age and experience to know that these things too shall pass whether his underwear warms him or he warms it.
Recently a very good friend sent me this video created by a very sincere young man who wants to share his philosophy about how to get through life. It's called the 3 A's or something. Basically he says enjoy the small pleasures in life and have a positive attitude. What a revelation, right? So he created a blog, just like mine, which no one read, just like mine. However, eventually lots of people read his blog and he got a book deal whereupon he put all his blog posts in a book you can now buy everywhere. Bet he's feeling pretty good now, huh! Hell with that warm underwear, he's got a warm savings account.
So here's this rather ethnically diverse, sincere young man telling me that I should hang around 3 year olds (just random ones) and enjoy their view of the world, ('no, no, no, mine, mine, mine) and savor the good feeling of putting on underwear fresh out of the dryer. This will help us deal with life's problems and move forward. Did I forget to mention he was married briefly and his wife left him?
Well, I've had my own 3 year olds and yes being with them is like being a child again, but I'm not. I'm a big person with big person problems. And warm underwear does not help me or I would think most others deal with death, job loss, mental illness, cancer or any of a host of problems people have to deal with. Don't get me wrong, I love warm underwear, who doesn't? And I think a positive attitude is great and useful but really, the answer to life's complex problems? Not!
He can call me when his teenager gets pregnant or misses her curfew and he waits up watching the hours crawl by imagining all sorts of horrors. Call me when his mother dies of cancer or when his child is failing in school and wants to drop out and join the army. Call me when he has a couple of small children and loses his job after he just bought a brand new house. Call me and I'll tell him how sometimes life is just getting up every morning, putting one foot in front of the other, breathing, and having the age and experience to know that these things too shall pass whether his underwear warms him or he warms it.
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