Teacher of the Year

There are many to thank on this auspicious occasion. First I'd like to thank George W. Bush for having the foresight to back No Child Left Behind.  Given his own struggles in education I can appreciate what this legislation meant to him.  I'd also like to thank the Congress for continuing down this path of testing and beating up schools that fail to meet the complicated criteria of NCLB. It really sets us all up for the failure we so richly deserve. The media has also contributed and I'd like to thank them for finding every way possible to condemn all teachers and make our FREE educational system the whipping boy for  society's ills. In addition I owe a debt of gratitude to the state of California for designing the most daunting and rigorous set of educational standards in the nation. It's a challenge to teach more standards than can actually be taught in 12 years. The people who brought us the recession deserve a mention for those furlough days that shorten the school year.

On a more personal note though, special thanks goes to the District Office personnel who walked through my classroom and gave me such incredibly  insulting and negative feedback. I couldn't have done it without you. I don't want to forget the parents who also helped make this possible by forgetting to check backpacks, being absent from their kids' lives and generally abdicating responsibility for their children's education. That means a lot to me, that you trust me that much. And the kids, little angels, they helped too, refusing to make the smallest effort, turning in sloppy work, daydreaming during lessons.

One last thanks goes to the field of mathematical modeling and statistics that are now presented to us as FACTS. That field predicts the future from current data and manipulates statistics.  If it weren't for those tireless souls working away in cubicles on computers we wouldn't have the API and AYP numbers with which the government, press, administrators, and parents could club us.

To each and every one of you who made my final and complete demoralization and "fuck it all" attitude possible, thank you again. I'll never forget you.